


Beauty and the Douche

by MysticMoonhigh



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Anal, Anal Fingering, Angst, Based on a roleplay, Beauty and the Beast, Blowjobs, Comfort, Frottage, Humor, Hurt and comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmates, cute moments, mastubation, not inspired by the 2017 movie, this fic has it all folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2018-12-04 00:32:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 39,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11543691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticMoonhigh/pseuds/MysticMoonhigh
Summary: Wade used to run a kingdom before he was horribly scarred by an angry witch. A hundred years later, him and his elite team of sworn protectors (turned into chibis by the witch's spell) live in a castle on the outskirts of the kingdom. They struggle to get back and continue on the path of breaking down the classism and elitism that fueled the land's poverty before Wade took over.How can they break the spell?Well, a little kidnapping wouldn't hurt. Surely not for a good cause. Haha.Peter Parker is working on a farm when he trades his freedom for his aunt's. But, well... the king is kinda funny. And a little hot.(Based on a roleplay with notchronicle24).





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This entire fic is already written out in a word document so I'm just posting it now. When this one is done, my fic for the spideypool big bang is publishing ^_^ so be on the lookout for a link to that posted in the last chapter. Updates daily, might take a couple days break in between chapters 5 and 6.  
> In the event of my death (by car crash, plane, or bear) the rest of this fic will be transcribed onto my tombstone. The writing will be really tiny though since my family is poor and can't afford a big tombstone. Hope you bring your reading glasses.

 

Prologue

            Loki reached for the eye of newt on the shelf. The room was filled with cloying smoke, falling to the floor and encasing everything in a purple tomb. The potion was thrumming and humming, boiling up and over the edges of the cauldron as the magic worked its... Well, magic.

            He climbed off of his stool and waddled over to the counter, grabbing the vial and pulling out the cork. He walked back over to the pot and climbed back up the stool, cursing his round body. The curse that had left his prince (and boss) ghastly and disfigured had left the rest of them with cartoonishly round bodies and far too short to reach cabinets without at least some assistance.

            He turned the vial over and added the final ingredient to his concoction; Wade's hair. (You don't want to know what he had to do to get it). The mist surrounding the cauldron suddenly shot out in every direction, a wave of heat caressing his face as the potion pulsed and changed colors, reflecting a passionate red.

            Within the swirling pool, there was an image. A young, attractive farmhand. Underneath it in swirling letters, it read 'Peter'. Loki had done it. He had found their savior.

            He summoned up his own magic and turned to the cage, pulling its legs out from underneath it with a great screeching sound. He knew that he didn't have the kind of people skills necessary to convince this boy to come with him willingly, and he didn't want to deal with an argument.

            After all, what was a little kidnapping? This was for the good of an entire kingdom, a much worthier cause than whatever this 'basic human decency' nonsense was.

~~~

            He was working out in the field, a heavy cart in his hands and a look of concentration on his face as he seeded the small garden in front of his home.

            Loki looked down at his small form, and he realized that he would not be able to win in a fight. There were many magics that he knew, but he hadn't yet gotten solid control of the human body and he could tell that this human was strong and young. The cage was rusty.

            He would break free in no time, and all would be lost.

            "Peter!"

            Loki turned towards the noise. An old woman was standing at the door, concern clear on her face. Peter stopped and wiped the sweat from his brow, slowly lowering the cart he was carrying. He set it down and stood back up, clearly exhausted. Loki could understand why. Most people had farm animals to help with work like this.

            Loki thought that they must have been very poor.

            "Yes, aunt May?" He asked, his hands going automatically to his hips as he stretched his back, working out the kinks that came with hard labor.

            "You've done enough for the day, really Peter. You're going to pull a muscle and then you'll be out for the week." She argued. "Come inside and take a little break. You can work on your gadgets in the mean time."

            Peter smiled at that and his shoulders sagged with relief, but he still seemed a little reluctant to go in. "Aunt May, we didn't have any vegetables left for an entire month last year, you know how I eat. We have to get these planted now if we want them to grow right. Give me twenty more minutes."

            "Peter Parker." She scolded in return. "You will get your butt back in here this instant. You're a growing boy, but that means that you need time to be a boy. This isn't an argument, it can wait until tomorrow."

            "Alright, alright." He relented. "Just let me move this out of the yard for now."

            He picked the wooden equipment back up and dragged it back over to the side of the house, leaving it propped against the chimney. He reached down and whipped his shirt off, revealing toned back muscles and sweat-soaked skin.

            Aaah, that made since. Wade liked men with a little bit of muscle. It only made sense that his soul mate would be hardworking.

            "You know," Peter said, as he walked through the door and into their small cottage, "I'm twenty-four. You can stop calling me a boy, Aunt May."

            She rolled her eyes in return, gesturing for him to come inside faster.

            "You might not be a boy any longer Peter, but I'll always see you as a little boy." She cooed, smiling at him like a proud parent.

            Loki leaned forward in his seat. She was old, frail, and just about perfect for what he needed. He might not be able to kidnap Peter, but his aunt? She was another story. He could take her back to the castle any day.

            And Peter clearly had a fondness for her beyond just a friend. She was a parental figure, and Loki knew from experience that when a boy's mother was in trouble he would do anything to protect her. So, it was settled, then.

            He would wait until they were vulnerable and he would kidnap aunt May. If this was Wade's soulmate, Loki assumed that he was reckless and headstrong, which meant that he'd be on their trail right away. He would lead Peter to the castle and offer to release his aunt from her captivity... with the promise that Peter stay and take her place.

            Loki rubbed his hands together, smiling wickedly to himself.

            This was the perfect plan.

            A few days later, Peter left to make a smaller walk into town. Loki had been hiding in waiting for what felt like forever, and he gleefully strolled down the hill and into their little valley, hellfire in his eyes.

            He busted through the door. The wood cracked and splintered as it blew off its hinges, landing on the floor. He forced his metal abomination through the door, standing on top of it.

            Aunt May's eyes shone with terror as she looked at him.

            He smiled. It had been too long since anyone had looked at him with such fear in their eyes. He missed it dearly.

            "If you want to live," He announced, using his magic to swing open the door of the cage, "You'll come with me."


	2. The Deal

Chapter 1

When Peter got home, he found that he was lacking a door.

            This was unusual, but not necessarily alarming. Aunt May had friends who worked in carpentry, and they would ocassionally help the two of them fix problems with the house. Peter just assumed that someone was there with a new door. Aunt May had been complaining that the old one was getting drafty anyways.

            However, the fact that the old one was splintered into a billion pieces on the floor was not normal. Not at all. Most people who took doors off in a polite way used, like, a screwdriver. This was not accomplished with a screwdriver. Peter would go as far as to say that it was probably not a friend who did this.

            However, most concerning was the fact that May wasn't inside. She was nowhere to be found.

            He looked around the door- scratches on the frame, scratches on the floor. Aunt May's half-finished knitting project left to unravel on her desk. There was a desk table that had been knocked over, and this was clearly no accident. Peter's heart hammered in his chest as he peered around the room, panic beginning to set in.

            This was not okay. Aunt May was very obviously in trouble.

            Aunt May had been his mother ever since his own parents had died when he was younger. They had both been taken by the plague, and nobody else in town would dare touch him for fear that he carried the disease. Despite the danger and the social ostrisization they would be subjected to for taking him in, his aunt and uncle had saved him from a life on the streets. They'd raised him like their own.

            Uncle Ben ended up dying in a robbery a few years ago. Peter tried to fight the robber instead of giving him what he wanted, and it ended up costing his uncle his life. Peter had never quite gotten over the guilt from that day, and he still wrote little letters to his uncle whenever he had spare time. He missed him dearly.

            He had already lost one of the people closest to him. Uncle Ben's death still felt fresh, was still an open wound. He couldn't lose aunt May, too. He just couldn't.

            He turned around, searching for any kind of clue as to where they would have taken her. He had to get her back safely. She was his rock in times of trouble. She was his best friend.

            He turned back towards the door, and he felt his heart stop. He couldn't remember how to breathe.

            Carved into the walls were this simple truth.

            'We have your aunt. If you ever want to see her alive again, you'll come to the forest. We'll be awaiting your game of chase.'

            Peter walked over to the cabinet with shaking hands, grabbing the key from under the carpet and unlocking the wooden cupboard as fast as he could. He could barely hear anything over how fast his own heart was beating, the situation sitting on his shoulders like a hundred-pound bag of bricks.

            He took out their hunting rifle and slipped bullets into his pocket. He didn't have anything fancy; they hunted only enough for their own family to survive. But he knew that whoever this was, they weren't screwing around. And while he had no intention to use this... If it came to his life or theirs, he would choose his own.

            He wandered out of the house, cautiously peering over the hill and into the woods. He had to force himself to take every step that he could, the adrenaline wanting him to stay frozen in place. He breached the hill and peered into the forest, fear driving him forward.

            His foot landed on the path, and sealed his fate.

            "Well, well, well." Echoed throughout the forest. It was followed with haunting, teasing laughter. It seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere at once, and it made Peter's hair stand up. He couldn't help but feel like he was getting in over his head.

            He didn't know what he'd done to deserve this. As far as he was aware, he hadn't pissed off anyone especially important.

            He walked forward, keeping his eyes narrowed. He had to be on high alert.

            "What do you want?" He growled.

            "Why, my dear boy, I'm just here to play a little game. See if you can beat me back to my castle. If you win, I'll let you have your precious aunt back. But if you lose, she'll be my prisoner for good."

            "Why the hell are you fucking with people's lives like this? What have I done to you?" He demanded, everything in him insisting that listening to that creepy voice was a bad idea. The worst idea.

            "Tick, tock. I've already got a head start." The voice cooed. A green light appeared in front of him, and Peter jumped back. Sorcery! "I suggest you follow the light if you have any intentions of winning this little game."

            Whatever questions he had were going to have to wait. If this thing wanted to have a race, Peter would give it a race. He needed to keep his aunt safe. He needed to keep both of them safe, together.

            He started down the path as fast as he could force himself to run. His legs pumped and his lungs worked and his feet pounded against the solid earth as fast and as hard as he could push his body. His muscles burned as he ran forward, chasing after lord-only-knows who. He ran as hard as he could push his body, ignoring the pain that quickly encased his legs and lungs.

            He felt himself slowing down as the green light weaved in between trees and around bushes, leading him onto a less-beaten path. He pushed himself further, desperation rising. The cloying feeling of helplessness was heavy in his chest, and he wished that he had finished any one of his inventions before he had. Any kind of help he could get in this situation would be good help. He could be moving much faster if he had just finished-

            Suddenly, he broke through the trees. It felt like he had been running for hours, and he could see that he was now in a large green field. It was empty, as far as he could tell. But the green dot moved forward, and suddenly, it wasn't there anymore.

            Peter stared at the open space in front of him, suddenly coming to an abrupt halt. Panic and stress started to rise within him, and he couldn't help but fall to the ground.

            Fuck. Where was he supposed to go now? How was he supposed to save aunt May?

            "Why have you stopped?" The voice questioned, echoing from every direction possible. Peter reached up an grabbed two fistfuls of his own hair. He pulled as hard as he could, the pain distracting him from the mounting frustration.

            "There's nothing here!" He cried out in indignation. The green light suddenly appeared again, and Peter rose to his feet.

            "Not all things that seem empty are." The voice promised. The green light shot forward again, disappearing a second time. Peter ran forward now, urged onward by the voice. Surely, this was what he was supposed to do. This was how he would get his aunt back.

            Something parted and allowed him inside, some kind of a sticky bubble. As soon as he'd passed underneath the shell, he could see the castle stretching up towards the sky. Peter watched as a great, moving hunk of metal moved steadily towards the castle, spider-like legs surrounded by green magic propelling it forward. He got up again, and the small figure on top of it turned around.

            "Better hurry." He sneered, his face pulling up into a wild smile. "Looks like I'm winning."

            But the castle was too far away. Peter would never be able to make it on time.

            He broke out in a sprint, his muscles working and his eyes never leaving his aunt where she sat, reaching her arms out to him through the bars of the cage. He ran after her as hard as he could force himself.

            But the metal creature stuck its talon onto the cracked stone wall before Peter could reach him.

            He let out a cry of anguish, reaching towards her as the laughter started.

            He fell to his knees, tears springing up into his eyes.

            "Poor, poor little Peter. Whatever will you do now?" His rival cooed, disappearing into the castle. "Follow me, and we'll see if we can work something out."

            The pain was so overwhelming that Peter felt completely numb. He forced himself to get up and walk to the castle, the high stone arches and sweeping tower rooms barley registering as he made his way towards it. Half the thing was covered in ivy.

            He approached the door to the place where the abomination and his master had entered just in time to see aunt May unceremoniously dumped onto a bed.

            A bed in a cell.

            "Aaah, I see you're not too fond of the living quarters." The little man purred. He came up to about Peter's knees, and he was wearing a golden helmet with two horns protruding from the top. "This is where your aunt will live out the rest of her days."

            "You can't do that." Peter argued, gesturing weakly towards her. "I'll stop you."

            "And what makes you think that I won't just kill her if you try?" He questioned. Peter flashed back to the barn years ago, when Ben was in a similar situation. Peter hadn't believed him.

            Look what that had gotten them.

            "What do you want?" He asked, feeling the life and will drain from his body. This was really happening. Whoever this man was, Peter was going to give him what he wanted. No matter how badly it would hurt them to do so. "You can have our entire food stock come fall. We'll figure it out."

            "Not exactly an even exchange, is it?" He mused. "A person for a person, though? Now that sounds like it would be a good trade."

            "What are you asking for?" Peter questioned. Loki smiled.

            "I'm asking for an even exchange. Your life for hers. You'll take her place and live here, as our prisoner."

            "Who is 'us'?" Peter questioned. "You look pretty alone to me. Seems like you'd drive off friends." He spat, unable to help his rage.

            His rage, and his resignation. Because he knew that he was going to do it. Aunt May mattered to him more than anything else did.

            "Me, and the other residents of this castle. I'm Loki, by the way. You can refer to me as the All Powerful One."

            Peter knew that this was it. This was what it was coming to and there was nothing that he could do to stop it from happening. Not without endangering the woman to loved him.

            "Peter, don't do it. You have your whole life ahead of you."

            "Fine." He responded, ignoring his aunt. He wasn't going to be responsible for another death. His aunt meant the world to him. She was worth more than his pride, more than his freedom.

            Loki smiled, and the green magic opened the bars of the cell. The metal cage moved back in and scooped aunt May off the bed, despite her attempts to fight the thing.

            "Peter!" She called out, distress clear in her voice. "Peter, don't! Leave me here! PETER!"

            He ignored her as the contraption shut its doors and carried her back out. Loki gestured into the cell, and his eyes glinted with mischief.

            "Alright, then. Please show yourself in to your new home." He announced, grinning."Your aunt will be carried back to the old one."

            Peter walked inside the cell, refusing to look back. He couldn't bear to see the pain that this was causing his aunt. She meant everything to him. He couldn't bear to see her so distressed.

            But it didn't stop him from hearing every single time she called out for him along the way. He stayed completely silent until the calling faded, until the weeping was no longer echoing in his head.

            "What do you want me for?" He asked, hoarsely.

            "You'll find out soon enough." Loki announced, turning away. "But don't worry. We take good care of our guests here."

            "Right," Peter said, bitterly. "I'm your guest, then. Not a prisoner at all. You know, now that I think of it, I've always wanted to stay at a prison-themed Bed and Breakfast! The bars add a nice, homey touc-"

            "For the love of God, shut up." Loki responded, covering his ears. "I can see why you're the one we need. Yeesh. It'll never be quiet around here again."

            That sounded... Ominous. Just as Peter was about to demand to be informed of what, exactly, that meant, he was interrupted. Footsteps were coming down the hall, towards his cell.

            "Loki," The voice sounded rough and gravely. Loki jumped and turned towards it, looking sheepish as he glanced back and forth between Peter and the man. "What the hell are you doing in the dungeon? I understand you're trying too hard to be edgy but this is where the line needs to be drawn-"

            The man cut off as Peter came into view. Peter saw him and jerked back, surprise and wonder and horror all rising fresh in him.

            He was horribly disfigured. Scars protruding from every single inch of his body that Peter could see, and he didn't have a lick of hair on him. Not his head, not his eyebrows. His eyes were bright blue, which stood in contrast to the angry red of his skin. Another smaller human being stood beside him, with Loki's rounded body shape. This one was wearing battle armor, and had long blond hair and a beard.

            Peter stumbled backwards, his back hitting a wall. And then, he immediately felt bad. Because that reaction was probably a douchy move.

            Apparently he was used to it, because he didn't look too too hurt.

            "Why is there a cute boy in the dungeon?" He questioned, looking at Loki. "Because if this is a weird sex thing, why was I not invited?"

            Peter blinked. Okay, so he was funny. That didn't mean that he was any less of a cruel human being. Scars like that didn't come from kindness. There was something very, very wrong here that he was determined to get to the bottom of.

            "Wade, meet Peter." Loki said, gesturing towards him. "He's going to break the curse."

            The scarred man's eyes widened. He looked at Peter and back to Loki, his mouth falling open in shock.

            "Oh my- He's not here by choice, is he? Loki, you can't-"

            Loki pounced, and Wade fell to the ground. Loki's hands quickly covered his mouth, glaring at him. "We need to talk about this. You are not ruining my chance of freedom."

            He turned to the other small one, who looked hesitant. "Thor, be a dear and show Peter to the nicest room in the castle. I'll handle this in the mean time."

            Thor hesitated. He looked conflicted, but Loki looked angry and Peter had a feeling he wasn't someone you wanted to anger.

            "Alright, Brother. I expect an explanation soon enough." He said, walking over to the door. His eyes flashed with pity as he opened it up for Peter. Peter felt nothing but resignation and anger as he forced himself to walk out of the room, following behind Thor.

            He wasn't sure where he was being led, but he didn't really care. A cushy room made him no less of a prisoner.

            Thor walked him up the stairs, and out of the dungeon.

            The inside of the castle was without a doubt one of the most luxurious things he'd ever seen. It was big and spacious, and it looked like it was decorated by someone with a taste for luxury. Ornate carpets lined the floors and dusty chandeliers hung from the ceiling, swinging slowly back and forth.

            There was nothing about this place that wasn't brilliant. Paintings lined the walls from fabulous painters, and the banisters were painted golden. Thor had to climb slowly up the stairs because of his height, which gave Peter time to admire it all.

            "Do they fight like that a lot?" Peter asked. If this was going to be where he lived from here on out, he wanted to learn about the people he would be living with.

            "We're all practically family here." Thor responded, finally reaching the top of the stairs. "There is bound to be fighting from time to time." He waddled down the hallway as fast as he could, his legs working as he got to the end of the hall.

            It was a long hall, with a shit ton of rooms. Peter wondered why he didn't see anyone here, but he didn't ask. It wasn't his business.

            After three more hallways, four staircases and six wrong turns, they were to Peter's new room. Thor swung open the door, gesturing inside.

            "Dinner is in a few hours." He announced. Peter stepped inside, admiring the ornate furniture and the canopy bed. He had to admit that this was, indeed, nice.

            "Okay." He said.

            The door shut behind him.

            He gave a deep sigh. Today was not going well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the day: Who is most important to you? I know, we're starting off deep here.   
> Please leave me a comment


	3. The Greatest Good

Chapter 2

            Wade stared at the gathered group, sitting on what used to be his throne.

            Now, it was just a really comfy seat. He liked having some cushion for his tush. Regular seats just didn't do it for him.

            "Everyone," He announced, "Shut up. We're here today to discuss-"

            "What the fuck did Loki do this time?" Nat questioned. Wade rolled his eyes, sighing as everyone continued to chat over him. Loki gave her a glare.

            "If everyone would just stop talking for a minute, I could tell you exactly what Loki did." Wade said, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. The group stopped talking and they all gave him their attention. He waited until everyone was ready to participate.

            "Alright." He announced. "Loki kidnapped someone."

            Everyone broke out in chattering again, all clamoring to talk at once. Most of them were protesting his actions. Loki sunk down into his seat and sulked until it all quieted down again.

            "I'm glad to hear most people are just as appalled by this as I am." Wade announced. "And that's saying something, because making me disgusted is a pretty high bar. I once took a bath in frozen yogurt that later turned out to be-"

            "You haven't heard my side of the story!" Loki declared, from his seat. Wade glared at him for the interruption.

            "Rude." He announced. But the other people were looking at Loki expectantly. Even if Wade was technically his king, he believed that everyone deserved the right to tell their side of the story. Loki was a little shit, sure. But he could have a reason. "But continue."

            Loki got up from his chair and walked up to the front of the room by Wade.

            "Yes, I kidnapped someone. And by most people's moral standards, that is "wrong"." He admitted, looking out over the audience. "But I did it for a good reason. This spell can't last forever, we all have lives to lead and the kingdom was happier when Wade was king. I picked a cute boy and I kidnapped him, so sue me. The witch that cursed us to be chibis and Wade to look like an acid accident gone wrong certainly didn't think about whether or not what she was doing was right."

            Wade flinched. Actually... The witch that cursed them kinda did have a point. But that wasn't what they were talking about right then. They were talking about whether or not it was okay to kidnap someone.

            To Wade's surprise, the chibis looked uneasy. They glanced back and forth at each other, and it looked like they were... listening. To Loki.

            Which was never a good sign.

            "Do you all really want to stay like this for the rest of our lives?" Loki questioned, gesturing around the room. "And do you really want the kingdom to be run by Weasel while a much more suitable king is right here amongst us?"

            The chibis were shifting uncomfortably in their chairs now, looking back and forth between each other. They weren't comfortable with the idea, but clearly Loki was starting to speak some sense. Wade picked then to pipe in with his opinion.

            "Listen," He said, everyone turning to him. "Even good intentions can have bad consequences. Do you want this boy to live with the fact that he was kidnapped for the rest of his life if it doesn't work out?" He questioned.

            Steve piped up from his place in the group. "Being held captive really fucked Bucky up. I don't think we can ethically do that to another human being."

            "Bucky was also tortured and mutilated." Nat put in, raising her eyebrow at Steve. "I don't see how that's a fitting comparison."

            "I understand that you guys are upset by how long this is taking, I really do. But do you want to do this to someone?"

            "I think you should recuse yourself." Loki argued. "You're ugly, but at least you can reach the fucking kitchen counter. You can't weigh in on this like you should, and I think that it should be a vote."

            "I'll agree to that. But I want a vote too." Wade argued, crossing his arms. He knew for a fact that Cap and Bucky would be on his side, and he trusted at least Thor and Bruce to see reason. He wasn't really sure of how the others would go, but overall he trusted their judgement. They were his family, and he knew that if it came right down to a vote they were going to do what was right.

            "I'll agree to that if you let me speak with them alone." Loki said, crossing his arms back at Wade. Wade let out a sound of frustration.

            He paced. There should be nothing that Loki told everyone else that he didn't get to hear, but he believed in giving people a fair chance and he knew that if Loki was keeping something secret it was for a good reason. He trusted everyone to see through the bullshit if Loki lied to them.

            "You're lucky I'm a good king." He growled, before turning and marching out of the room. He could feel their eyes on him as he went, watching him stalk away. He went outside, and he shut the door behind them. He walked away from it, sitting on the bench outside the throne room.

            Loki turned to everyone once Wade was out of the picture. "I did a soulmate spell."

            "You did what?" Bruce demanded, jaw dropping open. "You know that's dangerous, Loki! If you put unnecessary pressure on the relationship it could miss the chance to develop properly-"

            "'If you put unnecessary pressure on the relationship'" Loki mocked, rolling his eyes. "Cry me a river. Listen, do you want to get out of this curse or not? I, for one, would greatly appreciate having a penis again."

            And he had successfully brought up the most sensitive topic in the room. The witch that had cursed them all had made them chibis... But chibis didn't have genetalia. So it had been awhile since anyone in the room had gotten a good lay. Or a lay at all, really.

            Everyone shifted uncomfortably, muttering to themselves. There was a distinctive shift in the room that Loki could feel. The didn't want to be chibis any more than he did. They had languished too long in this life.

            "I have done the spell and Peter is Wade's soulmate. If we keep them together and keep Wade from figuring out that they're meant to be, it will develop organically. We just have to give this a try. You can do that, can't you?"

            They all mumbled amongst themselves. Pietro and Wanda, who had looked like they had the most aversion to the plan from the beginning, even looked on the fence. Loki knew that he had won them over.

            "Wade," He yelled, turning towards the door. "Come back in now!"

            Wade marched back into the room, walking back up to the front with confidence that came from still having his massive penis.

            "Alright, everyone." He announced, turning and giving Loki a glare. "Now that your heads were filled with nonsense, who still wants to release Peter back home?"

            His question was met with a resolute kind of silence. Wade blinked, tilting his head to the side. Okay, maybe he had phrased the question wrong.

            "Who wants to let Peter go?" He repeated. Still, he was met with stony silence. He could hear crickets chirping in the background. "Who wants to literally ruin a young boy's life just because they're sick of being too short to reach stuff?"

            Slowly, one by one, the hands rose. Wade's mouth dropped open as he looked out over the now ashamed Avengers.

            But even Vision, as sexually repulsed as he was, wanted his old body back. Just. Not for sex reasons.

            Steve's hand was the last to raise. He looked conflicted even as he did it, and Wade felt his stomach sink. He looked over to Loki, trying to push down his anger.

            "I hope you're happy." He announced, huffing. Loki smiled in response.

~~~

            There was a knock at Peter's door.

            He turned over from where he was laying in the still-dusty bed, looking at the door, trying to decide whether or not he should actually get up and go answer it. There didn't seem to be much of a point. He was still a prisoner either way.

            "Dinner!" The voice announced. After all of the running he had done earlier that day, he did feel kinda hungry. He walked to the door, forcing himself to move as he swung it open. He found two new chibis blinking up at him with their freakishly large eyes.

            "We're here to take you to dinner." One said. He was wearing some kind of a robotic suit, and Peter couldn't help but admire the guts it would have taken to wear something so dorky. Then again, he definitely would have worn one. So who was he to judge?

            "Can't I just eat in my room?" He asked, peering out and down the hallway. Again, there was nobody other than the chibis that he saw.

            "That's a no-can-do, pal." The other said. He was wearing purple sunglasses indoors, which was incredibly impractical and definitely made him look like a douchebag. But Peter, again, knew that he was not one to judge when it came to fashion advise.

            And definitely not one to judge a man with a bow and quiver attached to his back.

            "And why not?" He responded. "I thought I was going to be treated like 'a guest'." He fired back. "Guests aren't forced to eat dinner with the people who are holding them hostage."

            "Boss's orders." The metal-suit said, stepping back. "You either eat with all of us, or you don't eat tonight. And you don't want that, tonight is taco Tuesday."

            "It's Thursday." Peter responded, flatly.

            "It's whatever day the king says it is, unfortunately." The bow-and-arrow-guy responded, sighing. "This is the third taco Tuesday we've had in a week. Maybe you can convince him that killing us slowly with too much Mexican food is a bad idea."

            "That... actually sounds kinda nice." Peter admitted, hating himself for his token honesty. "Mexican is one of my favorites."

            "Of course it is." Mutal-suit sighed. He ran a hand across his face and he looked back up at Peter. "Well, come on. I'm Tony, and this is Clint. And we're late for dinner."

            Peter, after a brief moment of hesitation, stepped out of his room. He wasn't going to starve to death out of spite. He would find some way out of here eventually, and when he did, he needed to be healthy. Aunt May was going to be worried sick about him already. But if he came back too skinny, she'd have a heart attack.

            And Peter was already pretty thin as it was.

            Tony and Clint began leading him down the hallway, both of them walking ahead of him and chattering along the way. After a series of absolutely unmemorizable twists and turns through the castle, they were in front of the dining hall.

            Peter knew that whatever he walked into would determine what at least the next little bit of his life was going to be like, and he hesitated. What if there was something weird in there? What if they only ate raw meat?

            What if this entire thing was a ploy and he was some kind of human sacrifice.

            "Jesus, don't you know how to open a door?" Tony questioned, grabbing the rope that had been tied to the bottom and pulling it down until the door came open. It swung forward and Peter was confronted with the next little bit of his life.

            The table was long and ornate and had all kinds of Mexican food stretched across it. There were higher-than-average chairs, each holding a little chibi person reaching for different foods and talking and arguing. In the center of the table was the scarred man from earlier, his plate loaded up with what Peter could tell was likely one of everything.

            Everyone quieted down as he walked in, and they all turned to look at him. Peter felt defiance raise up in him. He wasn't for entertainment. They were looking at him like he was some kind of fascinating, foreign creature.

            "Nice to meet you." Wade stood, extending his hand over the table. Everyone slowly turned away, back to their food and/or conversations. Peter still felt eyes drifting over to him. He hated this. He hated feeling like he was a spectacle.

            "Wish I could say the same." Peter responded curtly, walking forward and sitting down across from Wade. He grabbed a plate and reached for what looked like a couple of quesadillas, trying to ignore the feeling of eyes on his back and the shock resonating off of Wade.

            "Right." Wade said, sitting back down. He seemed more disappointed than angry, which Peter was grateful for. But there was still that little something underneath the surface. A few moments passed, and Wade continued. "Sorry I didn't have anything big and fancy planned for tonight. I wasn't made aware of the fact that we were having guests."

            Peter couldn't help himself; he snorted. "Right, a guest. I love being kidnapped, makes me feel welcome."

            Wade frowned, and Peter looked up. Their eyes met, and he put all the defiance he was capable of into that stare. He hoped that Wade felt exposed. He hoped that he felt guilty. But he knew that he probably didn't.

            "Hey," Wade scolded, pulling back. His voice had clear hurt in it, which was almost enough to make Peter snort again. Whiny baby. Oh no, the prisoner hurt his feelings. "It's not like I knew this was happening. I wouldn't have let him. But you're here already, so why don't we both just make the most of it?"

            Peter balked.

            "Make the most of it?" He questioned, incredulously. "I've been kidnapped! I'm not going to make the most of anything! You're holding me hostage."

            A look of anger flashed across Wade's face, and he leaned forward.

            "You can either make the most of it, or you can go back upstairs. I'm not going to be treated like this in my own home." Wade said, his eyes dark. Peter stood abruptly, and the chair he was in fell over.

            "I guess I'll do that, then." Peter announced, grabbing his plate. Everyone was looking at him again, and he didn't want to deal with it. He grabbed his plate and stomped off, heading back to his bedroom.

            It took him quite awhile to get there through all the twists and turns and staircases, and when he did, he collapsed onto the bed. He covered up his eyes with his hands and felt tears spring to his eyes. He couldn't handle it anymore. He was going to be here for the rest of his life, maybe.

            It finally sunk in.

            He couldn't deal with it any more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For today's 'question of the day' I'm gonna ask what your dream house would be like  
> Please leave a comment


	4. Race Ya

Chapter 3

                When Peter woke up, he felt marginally better. He'd cried everything out last night and stress-eaten the quesadillas he'd gotten (which were actually pretty damn good), and it felt like everything was just a little less awful.

            There was a soft knock on his door, and he slowly forced himself to sit up.

            Day two in captivity. He didn't want to make a bad impression, so it was back to work being as sassy as he could possibly force himself to be.

            "Peter, wake up!" Came a voice through the door. It was rough and slightly slurred, and Peter could tell that it was Tony from yesterday. He slowly forced himself out of bed, walking to the door and swinging it open.

            He was looking down, but there was nobody there. He slowly allowed himself to look up and found that Tony was hovering several feet off the ground, literal fire spitting out from his feet and turning the air around him warm. Peter blinked.

            "Okay," He said, slowly, "I've never had a fever dream like this before, but this just isn't-"

            "It's not a fever dream, kiddo." Tony announced, clipping his metal boots together. He gave Peter a little wink. "Welcome to the future, kid. It's technology."

            Peter froze. He'd heard of that before. In fact, he'd heard quite a bit about it and it fascinated him to no end. To the point where he'd worked all summer not only on their own land but doing odd-jobs for the few neighbors that still spoke with aunt May in order to afford parts he could mess around with. Gears and cogs and machinery was something that Peter had been teaching himself in every moment of his spare time.

            He didn't have money for classes or fancy teaching books, but he did try his hardest to figure everything out as best as he could. He had a natural aptitude, but without a teacher... Well, it still wasn't exactly easy.

            "Why-- How?" Peter questioned, staring in wonder at the little boots. Tony slowly lowered himself down to the ground, smiling at Peter as he did.

            "Wade had that magic contraption bring back all your stuff from your aunt's house. I noticed you have some pretty well-developed tech in there."

            "Wade..." Peter paused, processing the shift in his emotions. His hatred, his resentment... Was now just a little more diluted. That was actually kinda nice. The contraptions he was making were his life's work. "He had my stuff brought here."

            "Everything that your aunt said was yours, yes." Tony informed him, grabbing his arm and pulling him out the door. Peter saw that large, metal cage surrounded by green whispy magic headed towards them, filled with some of his things.

            "Oh." He said, staring at it in shock. "Well... Thanks?"

            "No problem." Tony announced, shrugging. "You seem technologically gifted. A kindred spirit, if you will. Would you maybe want to work on some projects with me?"

            Peter felt his anticipation soar at the thought. This little man had made flying shoes. There was so much he could learn from him! The kinds of things that he could never hope to figure out by himself in a million years. "Of course!"

            Tony tugged Peter along.

            "Then c'mon kid. You need to get to breakfast if you expect your brain to be in tip-top order for our session. You can't expect genius to come on an empty stomach. Well, unless you've already been working for twenty-four hours straight and you have at least three shots of booze in your system."

            "Right, of course." Peter agreed, stumbling behind. He turned back just in time to see the living cage enter his room, presumably to leave his stuff behind. Peter hoped that aunt May wouldn't miss anything that it had taken.

            Tony lead him back down to the breakfast room, and Peter could smell warm maple syrup through the door and he knew that he wanted some of that. It was absolutely tantalizing. Smelled... Pure.

            Tony wrapped his tiny hands around the door and pried it open, letting Peter inside.

            Everyone was looking at him again, but it was... different this time. More reserved. Like they'd had a talk about it and everything had gotten sorted out.

            Wade sat towards the end of the table this time, his pancake stack reaching towards the ceiling. He was pouring what looked to be three separate syrup flavors at once on top of his pancakes. Peter couldn't help but feel his mouth begin to water.

            There were more seats more places further down the table. Many more seats, in fact. But that wasn't where Peter wanted to sit. Oh no. Peter intended to sit right in front of the man in charge.

            He sat down in front of Wade, and Wade looked up with a question in his eyes.

            "I heard you called for my things and just wanted to say thank you." Peter said, softly. He sat down in front of Wade, reaching up with his fork and grabbing a few of the pancakes off of Wade's own stack. He had a theory, and he was testing his boundaries. "I'm still angry about the fact that you're holding me hostage, though. So don't get your hopes up for much chatty conversation."

            "That's alright." Wade said, sweetly. "I can chatterbox enough for the two of us, eh?"

            Peter didn't respond to that.

            Wade seemed like the trusting type. He was still kidnapping Peter, which also made him the absolutely insane type, but still. If Peter could get Wade's trust, if he could... Convince him that he was slowly starting to be happy here, maybe then Peter could get enough information out of him about the castle to make his big escape? It was a risky plan at best and a life-endangering one at worst, but he couldn't leave aunt May to fend for herself.

            They would pack up their things and move far, far away from here, where Loki's magic couldn't find them.

            Peter cut off a big chunk of his pancakes and dove right in. He let out an involuntary moan as the syrup coated his tongue, sticky and sweet. These were the kinds of things that were very rare occurrences in his house, the kind of foods you ate for a celebration. But this? This was absolutely delicious.

            "Whoa there, Pal." Wade teased. "Stop with the noises. It's pancakes, not oral."

            Peter felt his face heat up, but he swallowed (oh boy) indignantly. "Doesn't matter. Just as good."

            Wade blinked at him before he busted out into laughter. Peter felt a kind of warm fondness begin in his chest. He cut another bite off of his meal and shoveled it into his mouth, trying to scold himself into liking this a little less. He couldn't let himself actually enjoy talking to Wade.

            He had to keep this professional. Stick to the plan. He wasn't in this to actually make friends.

            "You're funny." Wade commented, taking another bite of his own pancakes. Peter smiled at him just a little, trying to ignore the fact that the compliment made him want to glow. Nobody else ever got his sense of humor, so this was a very welcome change of pace from the usual.

            "You've got good taste." Peter commented, taking another big bite. His stomach wasn't used to this kind of rich food, so he didn't know whether or not he would be able to eat the entire plate. But boy, did he want to. He had a high metabolism, and he'd never really felt full before.

            "Thanks. I got the recipe from iHop." Wade informed him. Peter felt his brow come together.

            "I...Hop?" He questioned. Wade paused, hitting his head with the palm of his hand.

            "Sorry, I totally forgot that we were in one of these fancy fairytale AUs. Gotta keep what I can and can't talk about straight." He apologized. Peter understood most of those words separately, but definitely not all together and in that specific order.

            "Okay." He responded, shoveling more of the pancakes in his mouth. Everyone around the table was laughing and joking and reaching for various things on the tables, and he wondered if he was the only prisoner here.

            Suddenly, something occured to him. Wait. Him and Wade were the only people here who were... Well, normal? Was he going to turn into one of those humanoid circle-things?

            "Um, so hey," He asked, looking over everyone. "Is there anything, say... Enchanted about this castle? Specifically along the lines of turning me into one of whatever they are?" He questioned, pointing to the others. "Not that it would be the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Just, uh... curious."

            Wade paused, looking at him with wide eyes. "You know, we actually don't get visitors much. I don't think so, though? This is all mainly due to a... witch's shitty curse. I think the magic worked and then it stopped, I doubt it applies to new people who enter the castle."

            "And even if it doesn't apply to new people entering the castle," Vision put in, "We have many accommodations. You don't have to worry about much."

            "I mean, other than the fact that you will lose your penis if it happens." Wade informed him. Peter choked on his pancakes.

            "I'll lose WHAT?" He demanded, as soon as the fluffy cakes were no longer clogging his windpipes. Wade looked nervously back and forth between vision and Peter.

            "Erm, nothin. Don't worry about it." He reassured, looking back to his plate. After a short moment he grabbed a pitcher of milk and poured a small glass, holding it out in offering to Peter. Peter tentatively reached out and took the glass, chugging the milk. It cleansed the sticky pancake flavor from his palate.

            He decided not to worry about that one. After all, Wade said that the spell most likely wouldn't affect anyone who wasn't here when it was cast.

            Peter decided not to ask any more questions about the spell at all, in fact. If he was trying to make friends with Wade, he was going to do so through mutual male bonding exercises.

            "So," Peter said, casually, "What do you like to do with your spare time?"

            "Kidnap pretty boys." Wade swooned. Peter rolled his eyes at the obvious joke. "On a serious note, lots of stuff. The castle is full of activities and things. I'll show you around a little after breakfast. What do you say?"

            "Sounds good to me." Peter agreed, now even more anxious to finish his pancakes.

            Wade watched him scarf them down, and he felt a little piece of his heart go out to the boy who had that kind of enthusiasm for food. He didn't want to think about how it was probably because Peter had been starving for most of his life as a poor boy with barely enough land to feed him and his aunt. Nope. He wasn't gonna think of that at all.

            "I'm done." Peter announced, talking with his mouth full. Wade appreciated the open obnoxiousness. It reminded him of himself. He was the kind of guy who made the 'do you like seafood' joke.

            "Glad to see that, champ." He congradulated, smirking. "Now let's get on with the tour, shall we?"

            Peter stood, and Wade stood too.

            It was kind of amazing how he had changed overnight. The attitude adjustment was absolutely... Well, astounding. Wade was feeling just a little bit more confident about this entire thing. Maybe... Maybe they were doing the right thing?

            Maybe Peter was the one?

            Wade walked out of the room and into the hallway, and Peter followed behind him as Wade began his tour of the castle. He decided that he would show Peter the east wing today, and the west wing never. That was healthy, right?

            "So this is the sex dungeon, where all the freaky deaky happens." He announced, passing a completely normal bedroom. Peter looked frightened and at least a little intrigued before he peered into the space. When he realized that Wade was full of shit, he let out a small, disgruntled sigh. Wade lived to hear that sound coming from other people.

            "And this," He announced, passing the swimming pool, "Is probably the coolest pool in the entire kingdom. It's got a turtle on the bottom of it in tiles. Very classy, if I do say so myself."

            "You have one of those?" Peter balked, immediately running to the glass and peering in. "I've heard about them! Only the richest people have them. Can... Can I maybe take a swim one night?"

            "Sure, if you get me your swimsuit size I can have one made right up for you. Just think of me as your Daddy Warbucks. You're little Orphan Annie and- Oh God. I just realized his last name is Warbucks. How did that slimey sunuva bitch make his money?" Wade questioned, coming to a life-shattering realization. Peter blinked at him with owlish eyes, and he realized that he was definitely talking about something Peter knew nothing about. "So, um. Yes. The answer is yes."

            Peter gave a small, shy smile, glancing back to the pool as they moved forward. Wade felt his heart melt just a little bit.

            Wade continued to show him all around the castle. The dungeon, the dining rooms, the workout room (which was super dusty since they all normally got their exercise from training exercises). Peter and him both made small quips back and forth, and it was starting to feel just a little bit more comfortable. Just a little bit less like he had... Y'know, kidnapped him.

            "And this," Wade announced, his hand on the handle, "Is the ballroom."

            Peter stared up in absolute awe and wonder, stumbling into the ballroom in front of him. He looked up at the expensive chandelier and down at the smooth tile floors, the light from outside coming in and illuminting the entire room in a gentle glow. It was absolutely gorgeous. It was everything that he had ever heard about people with money.

            "Oh my God." He gushed, looking around. He turned back to Wade, who was watching him fondly. "Do you ever use this thing?"

            "I used to all the time when I was... Well. Y'know. Before I turned into this ugly fucker."

            Peter frowned. Okay, Wade had a little bit of a point... The scars were offputting. But the thing was that they weren't ugly. Not when you got to know Wade a little bit. He was scary, sure. But not 'whole-body-covered-in-scars' kinda scary. Like a couple of menacing face scars and maybe one kinda sexy shoulder-scar scary. Either way, he didn't deserve this.

            "Hey," Peter argued. "They're not so bad."

            Wade obviously didn't believe him, if the eye roll was anything to go by. But Peter had said what he meant, and he was going to stick by that. Wade wasn't ugly.

            "Thanks." He said. "Shucks. And you haven't even seen me all dressed up yet, Petey. You should get an eyefull of my full-length pink prom dress." He gave a wink. "It's a two-piece. That's just the kinda slut I am."

            Peter laughed, shaking his head. "You don't actually have that dress, do you?" He questioned. Wade looked slightly offended. He put his hand to his chest and his eyes widened.

            "I may be a kidnapper, but I, sir, am no liar." He reassured. Peter found it difficult not to let his mood sour at the reminder of what Wade was capable of, despite how nice he had become, but he tried not to let it show. "Do you wanna see the dress room?"

            Wade, without waiting for a response, grabbed Peter's arm and dragged him forward down the staircase and onto the ballroom floor. He swung around and pulled him to a door under the staircase, with ornate decorations and the usual gold trimming. He pushed it open and lead the two of them inside in a grand gesture.

            Wade stopped walking but still pulled Peter forward and then pushed him ahead of him, excited to show him the collection.

            Peter was assaulted with the smell of stale, fruity perfume and about as much glitter as his eyes could take. He looked around at the dresses- racks and racks of gorgeous, luscious dresses, as far as the eyes could see. They were in every shape and size and color that you could imagine, and he turned to Wade, looking for some kind of an explanation.

            "Not all of them are for me." Wade provided, strolling past Peter and walking over to a rack. "I used to hold big parties, and common folk were invited. Not all of the women could afford to buy a dress for the event, so I made it my personal mission to make sure that every girl who set foot through that door had a dress she could wear."

            Peter turned back to the many, many dresses. The explanation was... Heartwarming. He knew that girls were often tossed aside when it came to matters like this; society often treated them as nothing but baby machines, especially poor women. But... It wasn't just that.

            Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he could remember a story about this happening. He had heard the older women and men whisper about a castle that had disappeared, and the extravagant parties that had been thrown there. They had reminisced about it, like it was real.

            He wished he could remember everything that they had said.

            Wade turned towards him, holding up a yellow dress to his shoulders. Peter snorted as Wade proceeded to look in deep speculation.

            "I think this would really be your color." He insisted. Peter was suddenly struck by the intimateness of the situation.

            They were alone, in a partially lit dressing room. Two grown men, and Wade was close. Peter could feel the heat from Wade's hands against his clavicle. His big, strong hands. Peter had to keep himself from shuddering, and his heart started pounding in his chest as blood rose to his face. He jumped back.

            "I would never wear that." He argued, laughing it off. Wade rose his eyebrows.

            "That sounds like a challenge." He said, smiling wickedly. Peter perked up at the wording.

            Challenge. Peter had always been competitive.

            Brushing off the lingering awkwardness he felt from feeling intimate in that situation, he grinned. "What did you have in mind?" He questioned.

            "You said you'd never do it, right?" He asked. "How about a competition. Loser has to wear the dress?"

            Peter narrowed his eyes. "According to what you said, that wouldn't be a punishment for you. How about..." Peter thought. If he got Wade backed up into a corner, it could help his escape plans. "Loser has to do whatever the winner says for an entire day? Including any dress wearing."

            Wade immediately grinned. "Alright, Baby Boy. I can get on board with that. What kind of a competition do you have in mind?"

            Peter thought for a moment. Wade was bulky, muscular, probably not all that fast. He looked like he was more the fight type than the flight type. "How about a race?"

            "Oh, bring it on."

~~~

            Peter and Wade were both crouched down with a chibi in front of them. It was the one Peter had heard called 'Pietro' a few times, and he had professed his immediate interest in being the judge for the race. Peter had no clue what made him qualified, but he decided not to question it.

            Outside, in front of the castle, there was a walking path that lead all the way around the colossal building. Apparently it wove through the garden and had a lot of beautiful scenery around it, which was a plus. Peter wanted to see around the castle anyways, it would help him when it came time to come up with an escape plan.

            "I hope you're ready to eat my dust." Wade taunted, standing on the starting line with a look of grim determination on his face. But Peter had a plan to give himself an immediate head start. As long as Wade was the kind of person that Peter suspected he was, well... Then he was going to fall for it.

            Pietro rose the hankerchief he was holding, pausing to let the crowd quiet down. He geared up for his grand gesture, standing on his tip toes.

            Daintily, he dropped the slip of fabric.

            Peter took off... And immediately tripped. He let out a strangled sound as his knee hit the sidewalk, rolling over onto his butt and clutching his leg with his hands.

            Wade skidded to a halt in front of him, and Peter had to keep himself from grinning widely. This was just like taking candy from a baby.

            "Are you okay?" Wade asked, crouching down next to him. His hands were gentle as he helped Peter up, gentle and large and tight in their grip on Peter's arm. Peter tried not to think too much about that.

            "Yeah, yeah." He said, painfully. "I just fell."

            "Do you need to stop the race?" Wade questioned, concern in his voice. "I know how you feel. Last time I was on my knees was a rough experience. That's why I only hire professional dominatrixes now." Wade sighed. "She had no clue what she was doing."

            Peter ignored the part about the weird sex stuff as he removed his hands from his knee, standing up straight.

            "You know, I actually don't think I do." He said. He looked at Wade for a split second before he took off running at top speed, the wind flying through his hair as he moved as fast as he possibly could. He could hear the chibis cheering wildly in the background, and Wade was making indignant sounds of what Peter was certain was sure betrayal.

            Peter laughed as he ran around the corner of the castle, clearly in the lead. It was a nice run, actually. The air outside smelled like the rosebushes that littered the sidewalk in front of the castle, and it was a refreshing change from the smell of fertilizer and rotting wood that seemed to be permanent at his own house.

            Wade was running as fast as he could behind him and arguably was catching up, but Peter was more determined and had the advantage.

            Until he heard a thud behind him.

            He made the mistake of looking back, and Wade was lying face-down on the sidewalk. He gave a heavy sigh, his heart hurting as he watched Wade struggle to sit up. He felt an odd kind of guilt rise up. Wade had been kind enough to stop when he fell.

            He gave a frustrated growl and turned around, all the while beating himself up for it. But, well... He needed to earn Wade's trust, didn't he? Plus, it was just all around the right thing to do in this situation. He didn't want to give up his morals.

            He grabbed Wade's arm, and Wade looked up at him like he was the moon and stars. He gulped, helping Wade to his feet and then casually dusting off his hands on his own pants.

            "Are you okay?" He asked. Wade nodded, seeming a little bit out of breath.

            "I am now." He responded.

            Before Peter could analyze that comment in conjunction with the lovelorn way Wade was looking at him, Wade had taken off as fast as he could down the path, laughing gleefully along the way. It took Peter a solid three seconds before he realized what had happened.

            "You fucker!" He shouted, unable to stop himself from laughing as well. "You really are a scoundrel! And here I was trying to be nice!"

            Wade turned around, running backwards. But they were rounding the front of the house again and Peter knew that Wade was too far ahead now for him to catch up, whether or not Wade was running backwards.

            "Maybe you should stick to having a great ass as your token thing!" Wade announced, turning back around and flat-out sprinting to the finish line. Peter watched, mildly amused, as all of the chibis started to cheer.

            Then, in a showcase of fantastic strength, they all managed to knock Wade over and hoist him over their heads. Peter stared in absolute shock as they carried him across the yard, whooping. Peter was walking lazily behind all of the buzz.

            "I hope you're ready to wear that dress!" Wade shouted, gleefully. "Because 'do whatever I say' day starts tomorrow!"

            Peter was surprised when he found himself... Well, not hating the idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the day: Are you competitive?  
> Please comment ^_^


	5. Tale as Old as Outdated Gender Roles

Chapter 4

            "So, what's this supposed to be? Some kind of a... time-telling contraption?" Tony questioned, looking at the cogs that Peter was currently snapping into place. As usual, this was another project that he had started, but never finished.

            That seemed to be the general trend with anything that he wanted to make. It all ended up shelved until further notice. And he didn't love the fact that he never seemed to finish anything, it was just... what he did.

            He assumed that one day, he would just end up getting a stroke of genius and finishing it all at once. Then, him and aunt May would be rich and he wouldn't have to worry about feeding them.

            Not that he.... Not that he did have to worry about feeding them right now.

            The loneliness and sadness invaded his chest, and Peter fought against it for now. He didn't want to become that mopey guy, especially not today. No matter how much he already missed his aunt, he had to give the illusion that he was actually happy here. He had to be convinving if he had any hope of ever seeing her again.

            "Yes, it's a time-telling contraption." Peter said, picking it up. "I'm trying to get it to tell the time by playing music instead of just having the clock face. I'm also trying to make it smaller. Like... A singing clock for your wrist."

            Tony blinked.

            "A little simple for my tastes, but probably a lot more practical than some of the stuff that I build. What about that hunk of metal?"

            "That?" Peter asked, nervously. He smiled and reached for it, passing it to Tony. "That's a webshooter. It's... Something that I've been working on for quite awhile. It's supposed to be a cool contraption that shoots sticky cellulose fiber to trees and you can use it to... Swing through the forest. Like Tarzan and Charlotte from Charlotte's web had a cool, high-tech kid."

            "All I got from that is that you're a major nerd. A major nerd with a hell of a lot of talent." Tony announced, pressing the button. A little string of cellulose shot out and then immediately dissolved on the table. It wasn't sticky at all.

            "It... Has some issues that I'm still working through." Peter said, defensively. Tony looked up at him like he'd just been lied to, and Peter felt a little bit bad about it. "Hey, it's hard to get something to work as well as spiderwebs, and... I haven't had enough time to collect any webs for that."

            "You know," Tony said, thoughtfully. "There are some giant spiders up in the hills. I bet their webs would be absolutely perfect for what you have in mind. Once you finish this thing Peter, you're gonna be on your way to bigger and better things before you know it. I see a lot of wealth in your future."

            "Yeah, but I don't really have a death wish." Peter informed him, shrugging. "I'm gonna just stick to doing the fun stuff like, I don't know, making it to thirty."

            "Your loss, Pal." Tony shrugged. "It's all downhill from twenty-four onwards."

            Somehow, that made a lot of sense.

            Peter glanced down at his invention, sitting there shiny and relatively useless on the table. If he got the spiderwebs, he could configure the settings properly and... Well, he'd thought of doing something like that before.

            He bit his lip as he stared at the hunk of metal in front of him.

            Tony did have a bit of a point.

            Plus... imagine all the people that he could help with an invention like that.

~~~

            Wade groaned. The door was making that loud, gross noise again.

            Knocking. Someone was knocking at the door. And it was super awful, and definitely meant that there was another human being outside the door, which was even grosser most of the time.

            "Wade," Natasha's voice interrupted his thoughts, pulling him finally to full consciousness. That didn't mean that he was any more happy about it now, though. "You're wasting time. Today's the day you have to dance with Peter."

            "Dance?" He asked, throwing a pillow lazily at the door. "Go away. I don't know what you're talking about."

            "Up and at 'em." Nat kicked open the door.

            There were times when Wade was absurdly grateful for the chibis retaining the same strength they had as full-humans. This was going to be the fourth time he'd replaced the lock on his door so far this year. This was not one of those times.

            "I can't believe I threw a perfectly good pillow at the closed door when I could have thrown it right at you, right now." He announced, rolling over on the bed and groaning into the pillow he was using. He could throw that one, but he was using it. As a pillow.

            "I can't believe you're wasting away your time when Peter has to listen to you wasting away in bed. This is your time to do something romantic and win his heart! Or at least start the process." Nat announced, standing on the bed. That made Wade perk up.

            "What time is it?" He asked, suddenly worried that he had actually squandered away some of his time with Peter.

            "It's eleven AM." Nat informed him. "You've already missed breakfast. Probably because you were up all night choking the chicken."

            "I was NOT." Wade defended, throwing the covers off and forcing himself to get out of bed. "I don't support animal cruelty. And FYI, I was too busy masturbating to do anything like that."

            Natasha looked at him with what could only be described as a mixture of pity and complete and total done-ness. A look that Wade was familiar with.

            He gestured for her to look away, and she did. He slipped his pants on, grabbing his shirt off the floor. He didn't have time to put on underwear. This was going to be a no-underwear kinda day. He had a lot of stuff planned.

            Not dancing. Nat had suggested that. But he knew that it was too cheesy and probably too forward to ask for something like that on the first... Well, day of servitude? Not a date. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

            No matter how nice Peter's ass was.

            He slid out of the room and into the hall, running by the kitchen to grab something small to eat in the mean time. He needed to make sure that he was completely ready before he began this day. It was going to be some top-quality bonding up in here.

            ~~~

            There was a knock on Peter's door. Peter turned towards the sound, blinking owlishly from behind the small magnifying glass he needed to see the complex inner workings of his wrist-clock correctly.

            "Hey there." Wade said, opening the door despite a lack of response. Peter remembered their bet from yesterday and he gave a short sigh, looking up and asking God for guidance.

            "Hello, Wade." He responded. Wade leaned against the door frame.

            "You, me. Ballroom, ten minutes." He insisted, giving Peter finger guns. Peter rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically.

            "Whatever you say." He said, turning back to the project. "Might take a little longer than ten minutes, though. This castle is huge-"

            "He's already gone, kid." Tony informed him. Peter looked back up from the gears to find that this was true; Wade had already left.

            He rolled his eyes and turned back to his work.

            "You know," Tony said, casually, "Without him you technically would never have met me. And you know that we're doing some really good things up here, making some great progress on your work." He said, looking at Peter significantly.

            "We're not...gonna talk about that." Peter responded, sighing and beginning to put away the tools him and Tony were using. Already the information Peter had learned from this psuedo-apprenticeship they'd started was phenomenal, but he was still kidnapped. That was an important observation to make.

            Peter put his tools away in the drawer, leaving his actual work out on the counter for later use. He turned to Tony. "Don't touch anything."

            Tony held up one hand. "Scout's honor."

            Peter ran out the door, headed towards where he thought the ballroom must be.

            After seven wrong turns and fifteen minutes, he was standing inside the great room with a piece of toast shoved in his mouth (Steve had found him lost and insisted he eat something before he got on with the day).

            He walked down to the ballroom and sat down on the steps, his feet echoing as they landed against the floor. He ate his toast in relative peace, wondering where Wade was, and why he hadn't shown yet. He glanced up at the tall patterned windows and wondered how long ago this castle was built.

            There were clearly parts of it that were in heavy disrepair, and Peter wouldn't pretend that he knew what that meant. This man was clearly wealthy; why didn't he just pay to have them repaired?

            "Deep in thought?" Wade was suddenly beside him, causing Peter to jump.

            "Um. You could say that. You could also say that you just scared the shit out of me, which is a statement I wouldn't object to right about now." He clarified, taking a deep breath. "How the hell were you so quiet?"

            "Stealth heelies." Wade explained. He lifted his shoes to show Peter that there were small wheels in them. "Had Loki magic the noise away. Using these babies is like floating in on a cloud."

            Peter pointed at them, raising an eyebrow. "Please tell me you're not going to wear those when we dance."

            Wade's face immediately turned a shade redder. Peter was confused; what had he done to illicit this reaction?

            "What? Dancing?? With you??? Who told you that?" Wade questioned.

            "I just... assumed, I guess." Peter responded, incredulously. "I mean, I've been trying to decide whether or not your flirting is real flirting this entire time, but real or fake I thought you'd have us dance for your stupid 'I have to do whatever you say for an entire day' thing. I mean, you were already planning on putting me in that dress. What else am I supposed to think?"

            "So... You'd be okay with that?" Wade ventured, clearing his throat.

            Peter suddenly got the very awkward impression that this man, his captor, was asking him to dance. And he didn't know what to say to him.

            Did Peter want to? In an odd sort of way, yes. Every moment he'd spent with Wade so far had been enjoyable. But he also felt like Wade might read into it more than he should. When Peter would run away, he didn't want to break Wade's heart in the process.

            He shook his head to clear it.

            Fuck! Why was he even thinking about Wade's feelings?? He was a fucking prisoner here, for Christ's sake! He wasn't going to just... to just... He had to earn Wade's trust. No matter the consequences to Wade's fragile ego.

            "Yeah, sure." He responded, shrugging.

            Wade smiled like a kid on Christmas morning, but quickly coughed twice to hide it. "Right! Of course. My day, my way, even if that includes the classical stylings of ballroom dancing when the sun goes down."

            "Whatever comes out of today, I know now that I have something to... What's the word for when you're like, not looking forward to something?"

            "I believe you're referring to dread."

            "Right! Now I have something to dread today. Just what my held hostage at a castle experience was missing." Peter teased, making sure to keep with his usual playful personality to avoid suspicion. Wade frowned at the reminder of Peter's captive status, but Peter didn't regret bringing it up.

            "Right, day's not complete until you're dreading the night, am I right? Now, Peter Parker, let's get you into that dress."

            Peter groaned, but stood from the steps and marched into the dressing room, slamming the door behind him. He picked out the dress that he knew Wade had held up yesterday and took off his clothes, replacing them with the dress. He came to a grinding halt though when it came to zipping it up; it had a zipper in the back.

            And no matter how damn hard he tried, Peter just couldn't get the dang zipper up.

            Growling, he marched back over to the door and opened it up, coming face-to-face with a grinning Wade.

            "Don't you look like a princess?" He remarked.

            "I ask this with as much dignity as possible in my current position," Peter clarified, turning around and looking at Wade over his shoulder, "Please help me zip up my dress?"

            Wade reached forward and grasped the bottom of the dress, grasping the zipper. His scarred, warm hands brushed against Peter's back as he pulled the dress closed, and Peter fought against the goosebumps that were currently threatening to explode across his skin.

            Finally, Wade was finished. He let go of the zipper and Peter turned back around, raising an eyebrow, and eager to change the subject.

            "Alright, we're finished with that." He declared, laughing nervously. "What next, big guy?"

            Wade's answering grin would be stuck in his head for the rest of his time on this earth.

~~~

            Wade genuinely wasn't all that awful through the day.

            Peter was mostly more than happy to do the things that Wade requested of him. They played 18 rounds of chess (17 of which resulted in Peter's victory) and played hide and seek around the castle with the chibis for what had to have been at least a couple of hours. All in all, it was actually kinda fun.

            When it came to dinner time, Wade dared Peter to help him bake chocolate chip cookies for dinner, (the single most juvenile thing Peter had done since he was a kid) and dared him to try icecream, a treat that Peter had never before imagined or had access to. It was the best kind of day.

            Peter almost forgot that he was being forced to be here.

            Almost.

            Then, it came time for ballroom dancing.

            "You know," Wade observed, standing on the top stair and looking down at the dance floor, "This is definitely one of the few times I've been completely on board with using this room. A princess like you deserves a ball fit for one." Wade took a pause, and then opened his mouth to say something else.

            "If you make that into an innuendo that in ANY way references your balls, I'm taking off the dress and going back to my room." Peter warned. Wade pouted. "Don't even try. Technically the sun is down and the day is up, which means that I could stop this whole charade at any time."

            "Awww, she genuinely wants to dance with me. And it has nothing to do with my great pair of-" Wade cut off. Mostly due to Peter's elbow hitting his stomach light enough that it should not have had the power to cut anyone off. Wade acted like he was hurt anyways. "I was gonna say staircases! I have so many symmetrical pairs of staircases in this castle."

            "Whatever." Peter mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Let's get this over with."

            Steve, who had been appointed piano duty due to his vague knowledge of how instruments work, was sitting on the piano bench. He played a few soft notes, and Wade held out his hand to Peter.

            Peter took it, careful as they descended the stairs together.

            Natasha was sitting on top of the piano. Peter hadn't noticed that before.

            Wade grabbed his shoulder and gently pulled Peter around to face him. Peter's eyes drifted from Natasha and back up to Wade. His eyes widened as he looked into Wade's baby blues, and his breath caught in his throat.

            Wade put up his hand slowly, the other dropping to grip Peter's waist. Peter wrapped his fingers in between Wade's, his free hand going up to grasp Wade's shoulder. And that was when Peter realized that Wade actually, really knew how to dance. And his eyes were shining with a kind of gentle earnesty that some people would kill to have. And Peter was going to trip over his own two feet and it would be embarrassing and-

            "I don't-" Peter started, until Wade interrupted.

            "Up bup bup bup bup-" He interrupted. "You said you were on board with this. I know you've not done anything like this before." Wade looked the most serious that Peter had seen him since they had met; the piano music in the background steadily getting a little better as Steve got a better hold on the piano he learned earlier today.

            Nat joined in with the music, and her enchanting voice could sooth away any worries. Peter found himself relaxing, untensing his muscles. Wade grinned at him and pulled him close, until their chests were touching. Peter could feel the warmth radiating from him.

            "I promise I won't make fun of you when you suck." Wade swore, beginning to move them in a circle in small, but still fluid steps.

            "I promise you can suck my dick." Peter retorted, flatly. Wade smirked and suddenly Peter found himself flung out of their little circle, spinning out before naturally spinning back around. His back was to Wade's chest, and Wade's arms naturally came around him to latch onto his crossed hands. Peter felt warm.

            "Is that a real offer?" Wade questioned. Wade's voice in Peter's ear knocked the sarcasm right out of his body. Most of it promptly returned since he was Peter Parker, but some of it held off. At least until he finished this song.

            Wade unspun him and Peter stepped back into their little dancing circle as Nat and Cap continued to make their music. Wade was grinning like an idiot and Peter felt his heart give a little bit of a pang.

            This last few days was bittersweet in a lot of ways. Wade was providing for him. Wade was his intellectual equal in ways that Peter hadn't seen for awhile. Wade's castle was providing him with a mentor who could speed up his process of learning about machinery tenfold, and more than that, Peter had actually caught himself starting to like the bastard.

            It's not like him and aunt May could go back and forth calling each other little bitches for ten minutes straight. Wade gave him a kind of interactive freedom he'd been lacking for awhile.

            And these people... The ones he'd talked to. They were good people.

            Peter just... Didn't understand why he was being held here.

            Wade looked into his eyes as they swayed around and around, and Peter found himself looking past the scars. Past them... to the man underneath. The man who had made the past few days as good as they could possibly be. Wade was... sweet.

            Steve missed a note on the piano and hit the highest key by mistake. Peter turned sharply and it snapped him out of his train of thoughts. A sense of immediate and pressing dread overtook him.

            If he was already feeling like this, already feeling attached to this place and these people, he had to run. There was no alternative. He needed to make sure that he didn't allow himself to fall into this.. this trap!

            He turned back to Wade, smiling. It didn't touch his eyes this time, and Wade could tell that something was wrong.

            "Are you... okay?" He asked, slowing down their casual waltz. Peter looked down and took a deep breath, thinking as hard as he could. He needed to find an immediate way out of this place. He couldn't stay any longer if he was already a victim to these head games.

            Something that Tony had said earlier came back to him. Something about giant spiders.

            "Well, I was just thinking." Peter said, laughing a little. "I know I'm your prisoner and all, but Tony and I needed some parts to work on a project together. I was wondering if I could get some of those things with him? Pretty sure it's just some boring, mountain-foraging stuff."

            "Oh." Wade said, surprised. "If it's that easy to make you happy, then be my guest. I'll have Loki run after anything that you might need."

            "That sounds great." Peter said, lying through his teeth. Then again...

            That could work, too. He just needed a sack full of his things if his webshooters were working; he could lower himself from the castle at night and get his aunt, running as far away from here as possible. If his webshooters worked, he could sell the design to the rich for... maybe even hundreds of thousands of dollars. It would make a valuable weapon for their guards.

            He could be out of this whole mess faster than you could say 'kidnapped'. And he would never have to think about Wade's blue eyes or Tony's mentorship ever again. He would find someone better to teach him. Somewhere else.

            "Yoo hoo, Peter, anyone home?" Wade asked. Peter snapped out of his thoughts again, clearing his throat.

            "Right, right. Sorry. I'm just... tired." He excused. Wade nodded, slowly and carefully. Peter forced himself to smile, as not to arouse suspicion.

            "Do you wanna go ahead and go to bed?" Wade asked, stopping his feet. Nat stopped her singing, and Steve stopped his playing.

            "I think that would be good." Peter observed, shuffling his feet nervously. "I'm gonna head to bed. After I get this dress off."

            "Right, right." Wade said, stepping away from Peter. Somehow, Peter found himself missing the warmth. He forced himself to turn away.

            "Well, um. Goodnight." He announced.

            "Goodnight." Wade replied, blinking. "Just. Let Loki know what you need on your way up and you'll have it by the end of the day tomorrow."

            "Thanks." Peter said, already beginning to walk up the stairs.

            He couldn't help but feel like he was leaving something unspoken, though. Leaving this scene half-finished. He wasn't sure how he was going to fix that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you guys know I am working on a novel. If you're interested in following the progress (I've been working on it for literally years now and it's almost completely finished) you can follow @novel-bloom on tumblr (TW for suicidal themes within the book). You could also follow me on my regular blog @MysticMoonhigh if you'd like.   
> Question of the day: If money was no problem, what would you wear to a ball?  
> Leave me a comment!


	6. TW Arachnaphobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to update and I am a shitty person

Chapter 5

            Peter fired up his web blasters, his heart racing as he pressed the button.

            They shot out a thick strand of webbing that stuck to the wall, and Peter jumped out of his chair, whooping in victory. This was it! His first real success story.

            Tony smirked from where he sat in the chair.

            "Good job, kid." He informed him, sitting back in the seat. "With a few tweaks, those will make a great pitch for advanced weaponry."

            "I couldn't have done it without you." Peter said, affixing the part of the web that was attached to the shooter to the table, and walking to the middle of the strand. He slowly lowered his weight onto it, waiting to see whether or not it would be able to support someone before he started really giving it a go.

            "You could have." Tony said, looking at his own nails. "You really had the basics down, which is further than I might have gotten on my own at your age. It just would have taken you a little longer. Your main problem was that you were working with the webs as a theoretical instead of a real ingredient. You can thank Loki for that."

            Loki, who had been sitting in the corner of Peter's room while they worked for at least twenty minutes now, glowered. "Risked my ass for it, too. Next time, Stark, you fight the giant spiders."

            The only problem was that Loki had only gotten enough web to fire a few shots. Which meant that Peter wouldn't be able to escape like he had planned, using and commercializing his webshooters throughout the process. If he wanted to use them to get away quicker than Loki could find them, he needed a lot more webbing.

            Which is where his worst idea ever came in. Like, seriously, the worst.

            Because seriously, the whole 'giant spiders' thing should have been enough to scare him right the fuck off. Looking back, he should have decided to make due with what he had. But Peter Parker is, in general, a huge, reckless idiot sometimes.

            So he decided he was going to go and harass the giant spider later that night, get enough web to use the webshooters to get him and May through forests and cities faster than they'd be able to travel on foot, and have enough left over to examine the compounds and create a giant-spider free alternative.

            Or at least, that's how it would have worked if Peter Parker had good luck.

            Or maybe even mediocre luck.

            But no. He had horrible, awful, no-good luck. A curse generations-old in his family.

            "Well, I think that's enough for today." He announced, putting the webshooters back up. "It's lunch time. I think we should go and get ourselves something to eat to celebrate our hard work."

            Tony glanced over at Loki, raising his eyebrows. "Isn't Wade making like, seven loaves of Banana nut bread right now?"

            "I believe he's attempting the monstrosity, yes." Loki responded. "If you want to make something now, you'll have to deal with his personal brand of eccentricity."

            "C'mon, Wade's not too bad." Peter defended, a little too fondly. It came out like he really meant it, which shocked him into a couple of seconds of silence. He cleared his throat and continued with, "If you know how to handle him. He just needs to be given the benefit of the doubt."

            Peter tried to reconcile those words. He'd said them. And escaping off into the night was definitely not giving any of the castle's occupants the benefit of the doubt.

            Peter rose from his chair, his knees popping. He groaned as he stretched his back, bending and placing his hands above his hips to try and work out all the kinks. They had worked for hours today, and every single minute with Tony was something that Peter knew he'd remember as long as he lived.

            He reminded himself, firmly, that he would find someone new to study under. Even if Tony did have the most advanced technology that Peter had ever even heard of, let alone seen.

            He walked to the door and walked out, ignoring the conversation that Tony and Loki had gotten into. They were probably arguing again. They loved to do that.

~~~

            Wade was in the kitchen, as reported. He was also wearing the frilliest pink apron Peter had ever set his eyes on, and he was absolutely covered in flour. He was frowning over a recipe, and the batter in his mixing bowl looked purple. Peter was one hundred percent certain that it was not supposed to be purple.

            Wanda and Pietro sat on top of one of the spice racks, among the spices, watching as Wade added random ingredients.

            "You know," Pietro said, looking into the bowl, "That looks good if you're wanting to get rid of the raccoon problem. Whatever it is, it's definitely poisonous."

            Wade looked up, shocked. "Why would I want to poison my friends?"

            Wanda rolled her eyes, turning to Peter. "Boys, eh?"

            Peter smiled a small smile. "I guess. I haven't spent much time around any other than the last few days."

            Wanda smiled back at him widely, her red lips in contrast with the white of her teeth. She was, of course, a chibi like everyone else. But her features were somehow still a little sharper than everyone else's rounded faces. Peter had the feeling that if she were still a normal human, she'd have cheekbones sharp enough to kill a man.

            "These aren't exactly good examples of the breed." She announced. She glanced back over to the two of them.

            Wade was holding Pietro in the batter and Pietro, to Peter's surprise, wasn't struggling. He started to kick his legs as fast as he could, which was admittedly faster than Peter had ever seen another human being move. The batter was mixed thoroughly by the time he was done, but it was also all over everything within a three foot proximity.

            Wade sat Pietro back on the spice shelf.

            "Good whisk." He said, patting Pietro's head.

            "I can, uh, see what you mean." Peter replied, holding in laughter.

            Wade turned towards him, holding out the batter. Whatever he had done, it immediately looked better than it originally had.

            "Wanna try some?" He offered. Peter looked down at the hunk of goo and tentatively stuck his finger in. He pulled it out and brought it to his nose, giving a couple of tentative sniffs. He decided that it wasn't an awful smell and stuck the coated finger in his mouth. The taste danced across his tastebuds.

            "Mmmmmm!" He exclaimed, blinking owlishly at his hand. "What the hell is that flavor?"

            Peter looked over at the ingredients Wade had amassed, and he spotted a yellow peel. That was likely the new, exciting flavor he was sensing. Bananas were tropical fruits, and him and his aunt had never been able to afford to try them before. He had to admit that he quite liked the flavor.

            "Hell yeah. Drink my batter." Wade purred, giving Peter a saucy, playful wink.

            Peter immediately froze before turning to the side and pretending to gag.

            Wanda and Pietro busted out in laughter, tears gathering in their eyes as they clutched their stomachs. Wade turned and looked at them in mock offense.

            "I thought you two were going to be my wingmen. And here you are, mocking me, in my own home." He said, scandalized. He turned back to Peter, fondness in his eyes. "Wanna help me make the rest of this?"

            Peter smiled. "Why not?"

~~~

            He had made a bag out of a pair of curtains. Everything he would immediately need to repair his webshooters, a couple of outfits, and as much food as he could steal from the kitchen. He had, admittedly, cut himself and aunt May a slice of banana bread. Which he felt guilty as fuck for, but... A man's gotta eat.

            He really kinda... wished that things were different. That Wade and him had met under different circumstances. That he'd met everyone in the castle under different circumstances, and they had all so much personality. In other circumstances...

            But these weren't other circumstances. He was being held hostage. Whether or not he was being treated as a guest, he wasn't allowed to leave. So he needed to get out of there as quickly as he could.

            He cracked open his window, climbing out with shaky legs to stand on the ledge. The wind gave a particularly strong push and his legs wobbled as he looked down at how very far away from the ground he was. He gulped as he put his hand up, firing the web shooter at the wall of the castle.

            It attached well enough, and he moved towards the edge, his heart pounding and his legs shaking as he lowered himself off of the ledge.

            He was hanging in midair. The cool wind blew him side to side and his whole body shook as he slowly began to release more webbing from the shooter, lowering himself down a little bit at a time. Once he stopped being afraid that the fibers would break or the wind would blow him directly through one of the other windows like the biggest asshole ever, it was actually... kinda fun.

            He felt a burst of triumph as his feet hit the wet, cool grass. This was it. This was him making his escape.

            He took out the small lamp that he'd found in the castle and lit it carefully with a match. He only had a few hours' of light, and he'd gotten enough information from Loki about where these spiders were that he felt comfortable in his ability to find them before he was completely fucked.

            He pulled his satchel of things closer to him and started at a brisk jog as he headed towards the spider's den.

            He was going to get what he needed.

            He was going to come back home to aunt May.

~~~

            Wade woke up in the middle of the night. He rubbed his eyes, sighing as he stared at the ceiling.

            The last few days had been some of the best days he'd had since this stupid fucking curse in the first place. Peter was sarcastic and witty and cute, and Wade could really see himself... Well, falling for him. And Wade didn't expect Peter to feel the same way, of course he wouldn't. But just having that possibility there, the possibility that he could love someone... It was good to Wade.

            He wanted that attachment. And he knew that Peter wouldn't make things awful and weird. He could see them being friends for a very, very long time.

            But, despite how well everything was going, he had a bad feeling in the pit of his gut. Some kind of a warning of foreboding, and he didn't know what it was about or how to fix it. He lay there for a little while, thinking over everything, trying to figure out what it was about.

            Until he was too restless to lay down anymore, and he got up. He paced across his bedroom, slowly at first. But it got faster and faster as more and more nervous energy appeared. Wade Wilson was no stranger to insomnia, but this? This was something else entirely. This was something a little bit more than just having trouble sleeping.

            He knew that it had to do with Peter, and he knew he wasn't going to get to sleep unless he went and saw Peter. Unless he knew that he was safe.

            Which is how Wade found himself marching back to Peter's room in the middle of the night, his robe wrapped around him. He approached quietly and tapped twice on the door, pressing his ear to it to see whether or not he could hear anything.

            He knew he needed to see Peter to be sure that he was okay, and Wade didn't want to walk in on any masturbating. Well, okay, he kinda did, but like. Not if it would make Peter uncomfortable, which it most definitely surely would.

            Oooh, but what if he heard Peter moan his name softly as he came? Wade loved that troupe.

            But now wasn't the time.

            He shook his head to clear it and kept listening. Hearing only silence, he put his hand to the door and turned the handle slowly, letting the door open as quietly as possible. He flinched at the little squeak, hoping that Peter hadn't been woken.

            But he peered in and instantly realized that that wasn't an issue.

            Because Peter's things were halfway missing and the window was still propped open, the cold night air blowing into the room. Immediately, Wade panicked.

            What if he had hurt himself? What if Peter had fallen and was lying dead outside the castle on the ground right now??

            He immediately ran to Loki's room, fear driving him faster and faster. When he was there, he busted into the room, not worrying about seeing Loki masturbate since Loki didn't currently have a penis.

            "I need you to cast a spell to tell me where Peter is." He demanded, immediately. Loki turned over in bed and grabbed a pillow, shoving it over his head and mumbling something unintelligible. Wade grabbed the pillow and pulled it off, urgency fueling his actions.

            "What the hell?" Loki accused, turning back towards him.

            "Peter. Is. Missing." Wade growled. Loki sat up fairly fast, and every single cuss word known to man flew out of his mouth.

            Wade was barely listening. He was already pacing the floor as Loki got up and walked over to his cauldron, running in some hot water and throwing in some amethyst and basil off of the shelves for a scrying spell.

            "Mirror, Mirror, show me the biggest dork in the land." Loki growled, leaning over the pot and glaring into the depths of the water. "This had better be good."

            Green mist rolled out of the pot as the picture appeared, shakily coming into a sharp clarity. It showed Peter, outside, stumbling over some rocks. The exact rocks that Loki had seen just earlier that day. Except, he wasn't coming up on the right side of the rocks. He was going to, literally, walk right in front of the biggest Spider's usual spot.

            This did not sound like it would fare well for him. Not at all.

            "That idiot!" He hissed, looking up at Wade. "Get ready to go. He's in some serious danger."

~~~

            Peter climbed over the rock, panting in exertion. But he had to get what he needed and get out of here.

            He'd already collected a little bit of webbing along the way. There were abandoned webs all around here, but very few that were fresh enough for Peter to actually use. He'd stuck to mostly new stuff, knowing that the older, less-sticky cobwebs could be dangerous.

            The downside of this was that as he got closer and closer, the spiders literally just kept getting bigger and bigger. He'd seen one the size of a fucking bird earlier. And not a small bird, either. A pretty decent-sized bird, if you asked him. Not that he was an expert or anything.

            He climbed over the rock and peered into the semi-darkness, lit by his lamp and his willpower.

            There, he saw it. It was large, and fuzzy, and the size of a fucking saint Bernard. The very last thing that Peter wanted was to have to fight that thing. Because he was pretty sure that it would fuckin win.

            He slid down the rock as far away from it as he possibly could, keeping an eye over there in the mean time. Some of the rocks here were much thinner than they ought to be, but Peter ignored it. He saw a perfect, large web just a few steps away, plenty big enough for what he needed. It was like, the size of a house and fairly thick. He opened his jar and took a couple of steps forward, dusting his hands in a little flour to keep the web from getting out-of-hand sticky before putting his hands on it. He got to work.

            Slowly, he filled the large jar with the webbing. This would be enough to travel miles, with a little bit left over. It would definitely provide him and aunt May with the edge that they would need to leave this place unharmed.

            He turned, slipping the jar in his satchel as he prepared to leave. He had everything he needed, and that wasn't too bad. He turned back to the sleeping spider as he walked, careful to keep his steps light.

            That was, until he stepped on a rock and tripped, falling flat on his face.

            He scrambled up as the spider drowsily opened its eight eyes, focussing on him with a kind of fear and hatred Peter had never seen before. It let out a small whimper before backing up, its hackles raising as Peter stared.

            To his relief, the spider was backing up. It didn't look like this was going to end in a fight.

            To his utter and complete horror, what he had before thought to be rocks were moving, shifting, and drawing together. The very rocks above him moved, shifting and turning until Peter was gazing into the eyes of a very pissed, and VERY large, mother spider.

            "Fuck." He said, softly. Because this was how he died. Right on the cusp of a breakthrough.

            He forced himself to move through the haze of fear, skittering back up the actual rocks he'd climbed over, but backwards. The spider looked like Peter was its next meal, and Peter genuinely agreed. He had no real way out of this mess.

            "Nice.... Fuzzy... Monster?" He asked, his voice cracking. The spider, in return, leaned forward and nipped at Peter's foot. It got the very tip of Peter's shoe and Peter let out an ear-piercing scream, kicking it with his foot to get it off of him.

            The spider pulled back with its big, pissed eyes and shook off the hit. It growled, and Peter saw his entire, shitty life flash before his eyes.

            Peter closed his eyes, embracing death and bracing himself for pain.

            The pain never came.

            Just as the spider lunged, someone grabbed Peter, dragging him out of the way as fast as he possibly could.

            Peter opened his eyes to see Wade, righteously furious and glaring at the spider in contempt and... something that almost resembled excitement? His eyes were wild, and a sharpened sword was clutched in his hands.

            "C'mon. Mama hasn't had a fight in too damn long." Wade taunted.

            The spider pulled back and glared at Wade with all of its eyes. Peter gulped as it backed up, but Wade was already on the offensive. He lunged forward and swung his sword at the spider's leg. The sword sliced through half of it and got wedged in like a butterknife trying to cut through steak, and Wade pulled it out.

            Peter was afraid, but not just for himself. Wade was facing off against a deadly monster without any armor and with only a mundane weapon. It wasn't great odds. And it was his fault.

            The spider gave a great screech of pain and a greenish ooze started leaking from its leg, down its shin and pooling on the stone. All of this Peter saw with the light of his little lantern. He was frozen. He knew that he should turn and run away as fast as he could, but Wade. Wade could be hurt, or even killed, and he'd never know.

            He had to know that Wade was okay before he left. Peter was responsible for whatever happened here at this point. Trying to come and take the webbing had been a bad idea.

            Wade pulled back and the spider stalked forward, putting up its pincers in warning. The little dog-sized spider cowered underneath it. Wade lunged forward again, aiming for the same spot on the spider's injured leg.

            The spider rushed him, and Wade ended up underneath it. Wade stabbed upwards, panic in his eyes as the spider turned towards Peter hungrily. The poke in its stomach was enough to distract it again and it rapidly backed up, clearly hungry for a taste of Wade.

            The spider didn't cower this time, though. It lunged immediately. But not for Wade.

            The beast was coming straight at Peter, with its pincers open and its fangs extended.

            Wade jumped in front of Peter. Peter felt like he was watching in slow motion as the spider's fangs tore into his left arm. Wade cried out in pain and the sword came up to slash at the spider again, this time cutting into his sensitive pincers. The spider squealed and dropped Wade's arm, which immediately began gushing blood. Peter felt tears rush to his eyes.

            It readied itself to attack again, and Peter knew that it was the end of both of them.

            A wild battle cry sounded behind them. Just before the spider lunged, Loki's magic cage scooped the two of them up, and the spider's fangs met with rusty metal. It pulled back, looking disgusted and enraged, which Peter felt probably covered  most of its emotional range.

            "You should have ridden the rest of the way with me!" Loki hissed, from his spot in the corner. Wade turned and glared at him. "Look, now you've hurt yourself."

            "If I had waited with you," Wade replied, annoyed, "Peter would be dead by now."

            "Guys?" Peter interrupted, pointing with a shaky hand. "Can we maybe focus on the giant spider for now? Like maybe... I don't know, defeating it?"

            Wade turned back to the spider before looking back at Loki. "Charge forward."

            Before Peter could question why they were again running at the thing trying to kill them, the cage catapaulted forward. Wade surged up and stuck his sword through the bars, and it sliced through the spider's stomach as they ran across. The spider fell to the ground behind them.

            Peter turned to see that the ground was covered in that gross, green liquid.

            He turned to the dog-sized spider, feeling sympathy well in his chest. Were those... Tears in his eyes?

            "Hey," Peter said, gently. "I'm sorry we had to kill your... Mom? Yeah. Um. Us or her, you know how it is. You kill bugs all the time."

            The thing looked at him with big, sad eyes. It didn't help much.

            Peter turned away, and the cage they were in started moving them back. Back towards the castle. He felt a kind of dread rise in his stomach, mixed with a lot of guilt. Wade was hurt. Wade had... jumped in front of the spider for him.

            Peter cleared his throat. "How much trouble am I in?"

            Wade raised his eyebrows, getting a little bit of an attitude. "Um, I'd say you're grounded, mister."

            "On the bright side," Loki announced, looking into the forest in disinterest. "You actually didn't manage to wake up the big one."

            "There's a bigger one?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter with arachnaphobia was not fun XD. Today's question is, would you fight a giant spider for a billion dollars?


	7. Justification

Chapter 6

            Peter woke up from his nap completely exhausted. His muscles hurt, and he felt like he'd been run over by a truck.

            That, or a giant spider. Whichever floats his boat.

            Loki was asleep in the corner, having been given babysitting duty. Peter would normally find that a little bit insulting, but he could honestly not care any less right now. He had kinda fucked up. Whether or not trying to escape was wrong, trying to go and fuck with the giant spiders most definitely was.

            "Hey, you up?" He mumbled. Loki gave a yawn and stretched in reply, but his eyes stayed closed.

            "Wade would like to speak with you." He informed Peter. Promptly after that he rolled over and closed his eyes again, falling back into his slumber. Peter supposed that he wasn't the only one exhausted by yesterday's occurrences.

            Peter got up, rubbing his eyes as he glanced through the window. The sun was just coming up, meaning he was still a few hours short of a good night's rest. But that's the thing about Peter; he was restless once he'd woken up once. He could lay in bed for a few hours, but he'd remain awake. It would just be super fucking annoying, more than anything else.

            "When did he tell you this?" Peter questioned, not wanting to go and wake Wade up. If Wade was sleeping... Well, then he probably deserved and needed that rest.

            "About an hour ago. Go, goooo." Loki argued, waving him off. "Leave me to my beauty rest."

            "It isn't working." Peter mumbled, a smile pulling at his face. Loki finally opened his eyes, if only to glare at Peter.

            "He's not a patient man." Loki reminded him. Peter sighed and walked out into the halls, the halls that he was beginning to become familiar with. He figured that Wade was probably busy enjoying the most important meal of the day.

            He walked past the paintings and down the twisting staircase and into the dining room, with its high cielings and ornate woodwork. He was met with an almost empty room. Wanda and Vision were sitting on the table, drinking tea with a plate of scones between them. It seemed peaceful. If Peter had to guess, he'd say they were on a date.

            "Hey, guys." He said, waving awkwardly. "Do either of you know where Wade is?"

            Wanda turned towards Vision, waiting for an answer.

            "I believe he's in the pool, last I checked."

            "Thank you! Enjoy your breakfast." Peter said, shutting the door quietly behind him. He headed towards where he thought he remembered the pool to be and crossed his fingers that Wade wouldn't be skinny dipping. There were just some things that he didn't need to see.

            He found the pool room fairly quick. The glass wall displaying it was steamed up, and Peter took a small moment to pause and collect himself before he opened the door.

            He was met with a wave of heat. It was much warmer inside the pool room than it was outside. Peter shut the door behind him, seeing Wade out of the corner of his eye. He was facing away from Peter, inside a smaller pool of water. He had both his arms stretched across the concrete to either side of him.

            "There's an extra pair of trunks over in the pool cabinet." Wade said. His voice made Peter jump.

            Peter turned towards the pool cabinet, blushing a little. He had caught himself staring at Wade's bulging shoulder muscles a little too long just now. It wasn't the kind of thing that he wanted to make a habit out of.

            He walked to the cabinet and opened it up. Ironically enough, the swim clothes had a spiderweb design. They were bright red, and he picked them up, raising an eyebrow.

            "Whoever God is, he has a terrible sense of humor." He observed.

            "You can change in that room over there." Wade said, pointing towards a bamboo door on the other side of the pool. Peter walked carefully over and entered the small room, quickly discarding the rest of his clothing and slipping on the swimming trunks. They were just a little bit tight around his hips, but not in a bad way.

            He walked out, and he took a shaky breath as he looked at Wade. This was going to be a conversation. A serious conversation, by the looks of it.

            He walked over to the tub, seeing little bubbles form on the surface.

            "Careful," Wade warned. He glanced up, and Peter was captivated briefly by the startling blue of his eyes. "The water's pretty warm."

            Heeding Wade's warning, Peter eased his foot in carefully and slowly. He didn't want to burn himself. The water was, indeed, fairly hot.

            He settled in, the warmth making his muscles relax even as anxiety twisted in his stomach. He gave Wade a once-over, trying to distinguish how he was feeling. That was when he noticed that the huge spider bite from yesterday was almost completely gone already.

            "How the hell did you heal so fast?" He asked, immediately intrigued. So intrigued, in fact, that he pushed himself across the small hot tub and placed his hand on Wade's previously injured arm before he could even stop himself. Their faces were close and Peter's hand was still wrapped around Wade's firm muscle as he glanced up at Wade and gulped. "That shouldn't be physically possible."

            "There are some things I have to tell you." Wade responded, his voice rougher than Peter could have anticipated. "Some things about the castle. Some things about me."

            Peter blinked at him owlishly. He forced himself to let go of Wade and back up a little bit, registering the seriousness of the situation right away. Peter had a feeling that Wade didn't open up about this a whole lot.

            "Are you gonna explain some of the wackadoo stuff?"

            "Oh, most of my wackadoo has no explanation." Wade said. "Unless you count my crippling mental illness."

            Peter shot finger guns at him. "Works for me."

            The mood had lightened a little bit, and Wade was giving him a soft smile. But Peter still had that gnawing curiosity pushing him to question Wade further, to get him to explain everything.

            "I guess I should probably start at the beginning, right?" Wade questioned, sobering up a little. Peter nodded in response. Wade gave a sigh and sank further into the water, his eyes drifting to the ceiling as if to avoid locking with Peter's.

            "I guess I should start by saying that I do the wrong things for the right reasons sometimes." Wade admitted. Peter listened intently. "I've killed before. Bad men. But men, nonetheless. The worst part, I think, is that most of me still doesn't regret it."

            "What... What kind of bad, Wade?" Peter asked, his voice low and uncertain. He was against any kind of killing. He didn't know what could drive Wade to do that sort of thing.

            "They were bad kings, Peter. Sex trafficking happening right under their noses and they did nothing about it, executed people for not following ridiculous and arbitrary laws, taxing people to the point where children were starving because they couldn't afford food. I couldn't stand for that, Peter. And a flat-out war? Would have been innocent lives lost." Wade admitted.

            Peter processed that. Admittedly, it was pretty sound logic. Uncomfortable logic, and logic that's better left in thought than in practice, but still logic. He couldn't blame Wade for thinking like that.

            "Why didn't you just lock them up?"

            "I did, some of them. Towards the end. But that meant riots and little revolts staged by the upper-class. Most of the upper-class is still loyal to the king if he was shitty enough, because he kept money flowing into their pockets from the peasant's labor. But I killed enough. And I ruled in their place."

            "You... Were a king?"

            "Technically, I still am. I have a friend of mine controlling the kingdom in my name while I work out some of the... facial issues I've got going on. I'm not going to abandon my kingdom, but I've not seen it in awhile."

            "How long is awhile?" Peter asked, in a hushed voice. Because he'd heard stories and rumors but all of those were so old... How long had Wade been at this?

            "Hundred, two hundred years." Wade shrugged. Peter opened his mouth immediately to ask another question, but Wade held up his hand. "Buh buh buh. Let me finish explaining before we play twenty questions."

            Peter sulked, but he kept his mouth shut.

            "I united my kingdoms, and I think I was a pretty sweet ruler. I couldn't completely do away with the class system but I definitely improved the problem, and other kingdoms were afraid of my name. My subjects, they... They called me Deadpool. Because I killed so many people.

            "But that had to stop, eventually. And I knew it. I gathered a bunch of the top fighters from every kingdom; some who had been born superhuman, some who had studied magic, and some who had... Had unspeakable things done to them. And unfortunately I'm not talking about something cool you can't talk about, like fight club. I'm talkin grade-A-experimentation.

            "We called them the Avengers. They kept peace in the city and protected me."

            "Is... Is that who the chibis are? The Avengers?" Peter questioned, eyes wide. That would explain so much about... Well, everything.

            "Yeah. Well, most of them. Loki never really joined officially because he thought it was a lame name. But we were not calling ourselves the fuckin frost giants. The hooligan is awful at naming things. One time, when we were getting-"

            "Wade." Peter interrupted, his mouth quirking up. "I'd like to hear the rest of the story from you at some point in time."

            "Sorry. It's just. He tried to name a direwolf Poison Fang. How fucking basic can you be?"

            "Wade." Peter scolded, rolling his eyes.

            "Right. The point." Wade smiled a little. "A witch decided to curse me and the Avengers. Pretty sure she was a Loyalist from one of the old kings. She said to stop the killing, she would make us all suffer. She said that as long as I retain my view that killing those men was right, I'll look as ugly as my actions. So, I'm stuck like this forever." Wade sighed, heavily. Peter felt sympathy swell in his chest.

            "She turned the Avengers all into chibis with no genitals. They're all pretty cranky cause of the whole no masturbation thing. Could also be because I'm super annoying. Can't really tell."

            "That... Sounds awful." Peter said, genuinely. "For you and for them."

            "Yeah. And the kingdom could never... could never accept a king who looks like this. So the Avengers and I wait here. Until someone breaks the curse."

            "That doesn't explain how your arm healed so fast."

            "Part of the curse. No dying. She made it to where I heal super fucking fast so that I'd suffer like this forever. Which... Is kinda where you come in."

            "Me?" Peter asked, incredulously. "Wait, why me?"

            "Because you're full of charm and conveniently available?" Wade guessed. "Honestly, I don't know. But for whatever reason, the Chibis think that you can break the spell. That's why... That's why they voted to keep you here. Because you offer hope."

            Suddenly, it all clicked.

            This was a last resort for most of them. They didn't want to keep Peter here. They wanted him to break the curse. A lot of shit made sense now.

            "And I don't play this card often." Wade looked down, his eyes finally locking with Peter's. They were sad and tired. "But I'm the damn king and I'm not going to keep you here any longer if you don't want to be. You risked your life trying to escape. I'm not going to let this spell hold anyone else captive, least of all someone innocent.

            "Peter Parker, you are officially free to go."

            Peter stared at him blankly.

            He had so many things swirling in his head. Too much damn information to process, too much was going on. He didn't know how he was supposed to stomach it all.

            This was his freedom being presented to him on a golden platter.

            But now that he knew everything... Did he really want to go back to his old life?

            Everyone here was interesting. It was warm and safe in the castle, and Peter liked Wade. He had a mentor for his studies, and he had friends. There was a damned swimming pool here, for Christ's sake. He didn't want to give all of that up for the sake of his old life. And he had a pretty good feeling that he didn't actually have to.

            He could be the hope. He wasn't even sure what they wanted him to do to break this curse, but he could always try.

            "Wait." Peter said, shaking his head. When he felt centered again, and knew what he wanted to say, he looked at Wade intensely. "Promise me that I can come and go as I please, and promise to feed aunt May as well."

            "... What?" Wade asked, blinking.

            "Promise. Me. My. Freedom. To. Come-"

            "Okay! I heard you the first time. Of course, you can do that. And there's plenty of food left over for anyone you want us to feed. Does... Does this mean that you're going to stay here?" Wade asked, his eyes lighting up.

            "I'd like to." Peter admitted. "If that's okay. I see no reason to leave if you're offering me the ability to come and go. There's no reason why I would want to leave. I like it here."

            Wade immediately lit up, grinning like a kid on Christmas morning. "Yeah, I guess there wouldn't be."

            "I'm gonna have to go for the day, though." Peter said, sheepishly. "I've gotta let aunt May know that I'm doing alright. I think I'll also take her some of that banana bread, if that's alright with you."

            "Sharing is caring." Wade responded, grinning wide.

                ~~~

            "You're doing WHAT?"

            "Aunt May, calm down!" Peter exclaimed. It had taken an hour alone to pry her off of him after he showed up on her door. She had cried and hugged him close and blubbered into his shirt for what felt like forever. It was awkward, but Peter understood where she was coming from. "They did it for a good reason, and I've not been mistreated."

            "That's no excuse to stay with your kidnapper." May responded, running her hands through her hair. "You were held against your will, regardless of the circumstances."

            "Hey, don't be like that." Peter warned, surging forward and hugging her close. There were tears in her eyes again, and he didn't want to see that. He never wanted his aunt to be sad. She deserved the world. "I promise I'll come and visit every few days."

            "How do I know they won't start keeping you again?" She responded, burying her face in Peter's chest. Peter responded by comfortingly petting her head.

            "They won't. I'll escape and come back to you." Peter promised. "I actually already escaped once. But... let's just say it didn't go as planned."

            "Peter." She scolded, pulling back and looking him in the eyes. "You didn't put yourself in danger, did you?"

            Peter's sheepish smile was all the response she needed to push him away and cross her arms indignantly.

            "How do you think you're going to get along without me, young man? Not everyone can keep you out of the kind of trouble you're so fond of getting yourself into." May insisted.

            "Hey, it's alright." He stepped forward to wrap his arms around her again. "I'll stay safe. Wade saved my life."

            Aunt May narrowed her eyes, but she looked... resigned. "Peter, if you have sex with him, make sure you use protection."

            This time, Peter was the one who pulled away.

            "GROSS, Aunt May!" He argued, even as his cheeks heated. He hadn't really... thought about that before now. He'd never tried anything like that with a man before, but he knew that he held that attraction. Just as much as he held his attraction to women. "Wade and I aren't going to do anything like that."

            "Last time I told someone that, I ended up marrying the bloke." She responded. Peter sighed heavily, shaking his head to clear the now ever-present thoughts about his relationship with Wade. And what, exactly, it was.

            "Okay, Aunt May." He relented. Then, to change the subject, he reached into his bag and pulled out the little square of tinfoil. Inside it sat the most delicious banana nut bread in the entire kingdom. He presented it to her with a small smile. "I actually have something for you to try?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment!!   
> Today's question is: How would you feel in Peter's circumstances?  
> Also friendly reminder my Big Bang fic is starting August first!


	8. Training Day

Chapter 7

            Peter grabbed the tight spandex suit, pulling it a few inches off his body to admire the webbed pattern. "Real funny."

            Wade was grinning at him widely. "Hey, it matches with your spider cuffs or whatever-"

            "Webshooters." He argued, wanting to represent his brand.

            "-It just so happened that you almost got killed by one. This is in no way me mocking you for that."

            "I'm not the one who got bit." Peter argued, raising his eyebrows at Wade.

            "That was in your defense!" Wade responded, throwing his hands up indignantly.

            Peter grinned. "Still happened."

            "I hate you sometimes, you know that?" Wade questioned, sighing.

            "Then why'd you even invite me to this stupid thing?" He asked, feeling a little less than comfortable with the tightness of the suit. It was probably ideal for fighting, but Peter had never fought before. Not like this. "What is it gonna be, a room full of punching bags? Everyone sweats into a puddle in the center of the room?"

            Wade shook his head. "I know you're not gonna believe me until you see it, but our training room is actually awesome. And we compete against each other, not against a punching bag."

            Peter paused, considering that. "Yeah, okay. That sounds about right."

            Wade grinned, nodding at him as he opened the doors to the training room. All of the chibis were lined up in a row, all of them wearing various suits and gadgets. Some were more advanced than others', and Peter supposed that the less... mutated of the bunch were working with regular technology. Or, in Loki's case, a hell of a lot of magic.

            "Alright everyone!" Wade shouted, getting the attention of every person in the room. Aside from Tony, who was actively making upgrades to the suit even as he wore it. There was a chibi beside him in a similar suit, but with different colors. He was looking at Tony judgmentally.

            This was likely 'Rhodey', who Tony had mentioned a few times. According to him, Rhodey kept him in check and forced him to take breaks and eat when he was working on longer projects.

            Everyone gathered around Wade, and Peter could see a certain kind of hunger in their eyes. He could tell that this was one of the more anticipated activities in the castle, and he wanted to participate now more than ever. He had a feeling he was about to learn a lot.

            "We're going to be breaking up into teams. Since Peter is the new guy and I'm the funniest, we'll be the captains."

            "More like the one with the biggest ego." Sam mumbled. Bucky looked caught between glaring at him and agreeing, with his mouth quirked upwards in a small smile. The most emotion Peter had seen him show in awhile.

            "I'm going to be a captain?" Peter questioned, raising his eyebrows. This made a clear opportunity for him to take back his title of ultimate champion from the race that he had ended up losing. He smiled broadly. "Let the best man win."

            "Let the best beast win." Wade corrected. He had a hint of that wild thing in his eyes that he had had in the fight with the spider, and Peter knew that it was going to be a tough fight. But Peter had one very distinct advantage.

            Every person in the castle loved to (playfully) pick on Wade. His team members weren't going to be loyal to him.

            Which gave Peter an edge.

            "More like let the biggest douche shut up." He shot back, playfully nudging Wade with his hip. Wade nudged him back a little harder, the red of his training suit standing in solidarity with the red of Peter's. Really, they looked pretty alike. Peter, had he been watching this from an outside perspective, would have definitely assumed that they were on the same team.

            "Let the biggest douche never shut up. Pretty sure that's how it goes, Pete."

            "Fine. But I get first pick."

            Wade narrowed his eyes and looked about ready to argue, but instead, he relaxed a little, keeping his eyes narrowed at Peter.

            "Alright, fine. I want to see what you can do, Baby Boy. Pick away."

            Peter turned towards the small crowd they had amassed. He scanned over each and every one of them, and in his head, he decided who would make a good team. He picked who he thought would make the most valuable standalone member first, knowing that magic would likely have an edge in this competition.

            "Loki." He announced. Wade clapped his hands together, laughing.

            "Nice choice. Still not gonna beat me, though."

            Loki walked over to Peter's side. He was busy reading a little magazine, and he didn't put it down or even attempt to watch where he was going. Peter quirked his lips to the side. He hoped that Loki was actually going to participate.

            "I want..." Wade scanned the crowd too. All a ruse, of course, he knew who he wanted straight away. "Give me Sonic the Hedgehog."

            "For the last time." Pietro said, sighing heavily, "I am not a hedgehog. I don't know where you keep getting these comparisons from."

            "How about speed racer?" Peter suggested, grinning wide. Wade turned to him.

            "Lightning McQueen."

            "Herby, Fully Loaded."

            "Forest Gump. Run, Forest, run!"

            "Ooh, that's a good one. Been awhile since I've heard a good reference from that." Peter said, grinning. He could remember seeing or hearing things about these pieces of media when he was a kid.

            Pietro walked over to Wade's side of the room and sat down on the ground with an indignant huff. Peter knew exactly who he needed to have on his team now.

            "Wanda." He called. Wade grinned at him.

            "You play dirty." He purred. Peter was suddenly reminded of his latent, homosexual urges and an image of him and Wade romping around under the sheets, Wade growling that in his ear, was pertinent in his head. He froze, forcing himself to laugh a little even as he hardened in his pants. He quickly focused on something else, reminding himself that he was in damn spandex and if he got much harder literally everyone would be able to see it.

            The choosing went on and on until both of them had full teams. Peter had chosen Wanda, Loki, Vision, Tony, Clint and Rhodey.

            Wade had gotten Pietro, Sam, Bucky, Steve, Thor, and Nat.

            They were fairly evenly matched, if you asked him.

            They stood on their sides of the room and Peter watched in amazement as Tony pulled up a screen seemingly out of thin air and began adjusting things.

            "Alright." Tony announced. "I want a fair fight. No roughhousing, no putting each other down, no crying like a little bitch when you lose. I'm talking to you, Wade."

            "Whatever." Wade rolled his eyes.

            "I'm going with a randomized battleground. If someone hits you, you're out. If someone pins you, you're out. Non-deadly force only. No injuries Loki can't heal in an hour. We all clear?"

            "Crystal." Thor responded, giving Tony the sign for 'perfect'. Peter genuinely loved that sign. He kinda did that all the time.

            "Okay. First team to get more than half of the other team's members out wins. Let's begin."

            Tony pressed a button and suddenly, the floor was shifting underneath them. What had been flat was now shapes and mountains and valleys, ranging about four to six feet off the ground. Peter stared in awe and shock, wondering how that was even possible.

            Loki grabbed his hand and yanked him down and behind one just in time. One of Nat's Widow's Bites sailed just past his head and into the wall. Of course, the electricity was not there for training purposes, but it still would have bruised.

            "Okay, so." Peter said, leaning out and slightly around one of the barricades.

            Something whizzed by his head and he pulled himself back in quickly.

            "We need to develop a strategy." Loki insisted. Peter nodded in agreement. A strategy would definitely be a good idea right now. "It should primarily include you using your body to seduce Wade into making bad strategic moves."

            "I. What." Peter asked, shaking his head to clear it. Mental images. NO. Not in spandex.

            "You. Seduce. Him."

            "Or, and this is just a possible alternative," Peter clarified, laughing nervously, "We not do that. We do anything except for that."

            "I guess." Loki said, shrugging. "But you'd better come up with a good idea."

            Peter frowned, thinking through what he knew about Wade. He was argumentative, competitive, hands-on and didn't think things through most of the time. Some of his team members thought the same way... What if they could try to lure everyone out one at a time?

            "I actually think I might have." Peter said, turning around. He shot up over the barricade, grinning as he looked at Wade.

            "What are you doing?" Hissed Loki. Peter ignored him.

            "Hey, Wade? Better make sure cheetah over there isn't running out of gas! He seems a little slow today." Peter taunted.

            "Why I oughta." Wade growled back. He shot one of the nerf guns he had on him at Peter, and Peter ducked back under the barricade just in time for it to bounce off.

            Peter came back out the side and shouted towards Clint, "Arrows aren't a real, helpful weapon, they're for hunting!"

            He had to dodge another attack, this time from one of the foam arrows that Clint had with him.

            "You'd better stop making them mad right about now. It's almost time for a change of scenery." Loki informed him, looking down at his nails. Peter's eyebrows furrowed. A change of...?

            Suddenly, the ground shifted again. Their cover melted into the ground, and new hills and valleys and shapes rose or sunk into the ground. Peter found himself three inches shorter than usual with the ground sinking and out in completely open cover.

            "Um. Hey fellas. So about that completely innocent trash talk," He started. Loki grabbed him and dragged him behind the nearest obstacle again, barely avoiding Peter getting hit. Loki had pushed him ahead though, and he took a foam arrow to the arm.

            He fell over in the most dramatic fashion possible, exclaiming, "I'm out!"

            Peter turned towards the competition, narrowing his eyes.

            "You know, you better hope Secretariat isn't getting tired over there."

            "Did you just compare me to a HORSE?" Pietro shrieked. He immediately stepped out from behind the block and towards the other team, huffing.

            He got shot in the chest with Wanda's red magic. Peter laughed, grinning. That had actually worked.

            The rest of the team was starting to catch on to his strategy. Tony turned towards Wade's team and popped his head over his own barrier. "Hey, Sam? You should really change your superhero name to 'oversized pigeon'."

            Nat looked Steve dead in the eyes. "The entire concept of democracy is a farce and Wade attempting to implement parts of it into his reign is futile."

            Steve stepped out from behind the wall to argue against that, a stern look on his face. He didn't realize that Natasha wasn't serious until he already got a widow's bite straight to the chest.

            He looked down. "Now that was playing dirty."

            Sam shrugged Tony's critique off. "Pigeons are cool, dude. I have one I meet on the rooftops every day. We fly together, we die together. It's a tight knit friendship."   

            Tony shook his head incredulously. "I did not build you a flying suit so you could befriend pigeons, you asshole!"

            Peter couldn't help but laugh at that. Tony turned and glared at him resolutely.

            Peter turned back to Sam, knowing what he could say now. "March of the Penguins was boring and pointless!"

            Sam sailed above the barricade with hellfire in his eyes and let out a shriek as he fired at them. Tony rose above the barricade as well, firing at Sam like his life depended on it. Peter assumed that it was the notion of his invention being used as a pigeon friend finder that pissed him off to that extent. Peter actually thought that the concept was kind of cool.

            Either way, they both shot each other, and both of them ended up grumbling and walking to the edge of the room together. Tony gave Sam a little shove, which Peter knew was more playful than anything else. Sam responded by openly tripping Tony.

            This was it. One more person from Wade's team out and they would officially win. Peter knew that he wanted to take the big cahoona down himself, but he just didn't know how. What could he possibly say to offend Wade? That wouldn't actually harm him psychologically.

            "Hey, Wade." Peter said, in the most tired voice he could. "Do you think we could take a break? I don't think I'm cut out for all of this."

            Wade immediately switched into Concerned Mode TM. Wade peered around the barrier, looking for Peter. And Peter was ready. Boy, was he ready.

            "Peter, you're doing a fantastic-"

            Peter shot Wade in the face with his webs, muffling any other sound he would have made. A million other emotions flashed across Wade's face- rage and surprise being the two most prominent, and Peter grinned as the simulation returned the floor to normal.

            He walked over to Wade and helped him up off the floor. Wade's mouth may have been webbed shut, but his eyes said everything that Peter needed to know. This was betrayal. Peter should probably not have done that. But God, he didn't regret it.

            He helped Wade to pry the webbing off of his mouth. It was only a thin layer, so it wasn't too too sticky.

            "I can't believe you would play so dirty." He said. Peter smiled.

            "I learned from the best." He teased. Wade rolled his eyes.

            Peter turned, seeing that everyone else was headed out of the training room for the day. Most of them, he was certain, were headed towards individual training exercises. You didn't get that good without practice. These people? They were good.

            If Peter hadn't had Loki watching out for him, he would have been toast.

            Peter, suddenly, felt a firm smack on his rump. He jumped in the air before turning sharply, heat rising to his face.

            "Good game." Wade said, grinning. Peter blinked at him.

            "That was supposed to be... A show of camaraderie." He half-observed, half-asked. Wade raised an eyebrow.

            "Yes, Peter. Like men do when they play sports."

            "Right, yeah. I've, uh, heard of that." Peter announced. Wade was beside him now, and Peter reached over and casually smacked Wade's ass. He'd intended to let go immediately, but it was a lot more muscular than he had anticipated and it had a really nice weight in his hand. He could feel himself practically drooling. This was a nice ass.

            "Peter." Wade said. Peter hadn't even noticed until then that they had entirely stopped walking.

            "Hmm?" He questioned.

            "A little more than camaraderie at this point, buddy." Wade let him know. Peter immediately pulled his hand back like he had been burned, his face turning a bright shade of red as he realized that he'd just essentially felt Wade up.

            "Right! Of course. Whoops. Silly me." He said. Wade paused, looking at him with narrowed eyes. Peter was more than tempted to check and see if his touch had had any kind of a... physical effect on Wade, but he wasn't about to get caught looking at Wade's dick after this whole catastrophe.

            Peter avoided eye contact then. He did in a lot of situations, actually, come to think of it.

            "Okay then." Wade finally relented, turning away. He turned back towards the door, and they started walking again. "Hey, there's actually something that I want to show you. If you want to see it."

            Peter wasn't sure how he would feel if that something was Wade's dick. But in this particular context, it could very well be Wade's dick.

            Oh, God. Wade had taken the butt grabbing just a little too serious. Peter hadn't even really realized that he was doing it, but then he was and he realized that he wanted to be and fuck, Wade had a nice body and a sweet personality and suddenly, Peter realized it would be okay if Wade did show him his dick.

            He wanted to know how big it was going to be.

            "I'm okay with that." Peter responded, a little breathy. Suddenly, the spandex felt a little too tight and he shifted uncomfortably, one of his hands coming up to pull out the collar as a warm flush spread over his entire body.

            Wade lead him down the hallway and stopped in front of a massive sex of double doors. Peter assumed it was some kind of bedroom or maybe even an actual sex dungeon. He wondered what kinds of things Wade would have, what kinds of luxuries he'd been able to collect as king.

            Wade threw open the doors in a grand gesture.

            Peter's semi hard-on slowly died. Confusion took its place.

            This was....

            He lit up. What the shit!? This was amazing!

            There were rows upon rows upon rows of books, shelves and shelves of tales and anthologies and studies. It was the largest library that Peter had ever seen, with hundred and hundreds and probably even thousands of books. The shelves reached up to the ceiling. Their ceiling was almost as high as the one in the ballroom.

            "This is a great place for research." Wade commented, casually. "I know you're a massive nerd, so I decided to let you have a look-see. There's an entire section on technology and technological theory."

            Peter stared at the walls and walls of books in complete awe and shock, joy and anticipation and happiness building inside of him until he was practically fit to burst. This was everything that he could have asked for, and more.

            He turned to Wade, his eyes and posture softening as the gratitude threatened to overwhelm him. He threw himself into the arms of the other man, hugging Wade as hard as he possibly could as tears welled up within his eyes.

            "Thank you for this." He whispered, pushing his entire body against Wade's. Wade responded by wrapping his arms around Peter in return, hugging him close. Peter felt himself melt further, enjoying the warmth exchanged between their bodies.

            "It's been awhile since anyone has hugged me like this." Wade informed him, running a hand through Peter's hair casually. Peter nuzzled into Wade's chest. This was just perfect. This just... felt right right now.

            "That's a shame." Peter responded. He forced himself to pull away to breathe better. "You give good ones."

            Wade grinned at him, and his eyes glazed over in affection.

            "You've not even had my naked ones yet." He said, actively ruining the moment.

            Peter blinked at him before pushing him away, annoyed and amused at the same time. He walked over to the first shelf closest to him and started examining the contents, ignoring Wade's protests behind him.

            "C'mon! Don't be like that!!" Wade teased. Peter grinned, grabbing an interesting book off of the shelf (it was on some crazy new science involving pea plants) and putting it into his hands.

            "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of all of this knowledge."

~~~

            Later that night, though, Peter had some thinking to do.

            Because earlier?

            He was going to let Wade show him his dick. No doubt about it. And Peter could have denied it to anyone else had they asked, but this was himself. He couldn't lie to himself. At least, not anymore.

            From day one, there had been a little bit of something going on between him and Wade. Whatever it was, it was powerful and urgent, and Peter felt the urge to get as close to Wade as possible in the shortest amount of time. Peter wanted Wade, and he wanted him bad.

            But the thing was, Peter wasn't really sure how he could do something about it. He wasn't great at communicating in the first place. He'd hardly ever had any kind of romantic interaction, aside from a summer romance fling with a girl named Mary Jane.

            But... Well, Peter could do it if he really wanted to.

            And he did. He wanted Wade. He wanted to see what this crazy, kinda fucked-up thing forming between them really was. Even if Wade didn't feel the same way, Peter needed that closure.

            But Peter was also pretty sure that he returned his feelings. Wade wouldn't have reacted the way that he did in the game today if he hadn't felt something for Peter.

            Suddenly, the idea struck Peter like a bolt of lightning.

            The game.

            He had just won a game.

            And he knew how he was going to tell Wade that he liked him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I missed the date for my Spideypool Big Bang and dropped off the radar for a few days...  
> Not gonna lie  
> getting distracted by my boyfriend is to blame. XD. He's the person who roleplayed this fic with me originally, notchronicle24, and I got to drive up to Michigan to see him for a few days <3  
> BUT, my big bang should be posting VERY soon. Tonight if I get a response from the artist about the tumblr post in time or tomorrow if I don't get a response until then. (She's always very prompt, and really, this is my fault just to make that clear XD).
> 
> So in honor of my complete lack of ability to concentrate on getting my shit out on time, today's question is: What is one thing that always distracts you?


	9. Hot Times, Hot Tubs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna post everything other than the prologue today because I SUCK at updates, apparently

Chapter 8

            Peter was a little more than nervous. He was actually shaking.

            He stood, feeling more exposed than ever in just the swim trunks, in front of the hot tub. Wade looked up at him in mild amusement.

            "Couldn't get enough of this the other day?" He asked. Peter grinned, forcing himself to step into the warm water.

            "Nope." He said, submerging his chest as he sat on the stone seat. "This place is pretty comfortable. Plus, Nat said that you usually come here to relax in the mornings."

            Wade nodded. "Yeah, I do. So you wanted to spend time with me?"

            "Something like that." Peter confirmed. He felt his face begin to redden and he was suddenly grateful for the warmth of this little pool of water. There would be no way for Wade to tell how embarrassed he actually was. "You lost the training competition yesterday."

            "Right, right. So you're here to talk about what a loser you think I am?" Wade teased. "I see how it is."

            "Actually, I think there was something a little unfair about the whole thing." Peter stated, casually. He could immediately see that Wade was intrigued, and Peter knew that there was no going back now.

            "And it wasn't how you won by being an asshole?" Wade asked. "Cause that seems like the unfair part to me."

            Peter felt anxiety heave in his stomach, and he had to focus on keeping himself relatively calm. "No, actually. You see, last time we played a game and I lost, I had to do everything that you said for a day. Wouldn't it make sense if you had the same penalty now?"

            Wade narrowed his eyes, and Peter was almost certain, for a moment, that he could see right through him. That Peter's entire plan would be compromised and Wade would just reject him flat-out and Peter would go back to living with aunt May because he'd be too embarrassed to ever look Wade in the eyes again and-

            "I will admit that that seems fair." Wade said, begrudgingly. Then, his tone turned flirtatious. "And not just because the idea of having you tell me what to do turns me on."

            Peter rolled his eyes, but the small affirmation made him feel a little more confident, and a little less anxious. Wade flirted with him constantly... At the very least, if this was just a misunderstanding, Wade would understand. Peter wouldn't be judged for this.

            "Alright." He said, nervously. He shifted closer to Wade in the pool. "Then come and sit by me."

            Wade narrowed his eyes, but shifted over in the hot tub until he was sitting next to Peter/ Peter watched the ripples in the surface that it made when Wade moved; the bubbles were turned off this time, and the water was calm unless moved. Peter jumped a little when Wade's leg touched his under the water.

            "I did what you asked." Wade announced. Peter nodded, looking firmly down at the water as he prepared to make his next move.

            Peter moved his hand to rest on Wade's knee. He was certain that his shoulders were trembling, but he didn't want to look. He leaned over, leaning his head on Wade's shoulder.

            Wade took a sharp breath, laughing a little with the exhale.

            "You want to use your 'do whatever you want' pass to cuddle?" He questioned. Peter moved his hand up a few inches on Wade's leg, and he felt Wade's muscles tense. He stopped, waiting until Wade had relaxed again to speak.

            "Not exactly." He informed him. Wade seemed to be actually rendered speechless.

            Peter watched as Wade's cock slowly began to harden in the water. He took a shaky breath of his own at the sight, practically feeling his own pupils widen in lust. Wade was only semi-hard, but Peter could already tell that he was a pretty nice size.

            Peter turned, keeping his eyes on Wade's neck as he moved his hand from Wade's leg. Peter couldn't resist the temptation and he put one leg over Wade's hips, stradling him. Peter felt like his whole body was shaking as he rested his hands on Wade's shoulders, lowering his groin down until him and Wade were pressed together.

            Peter took a sharp gasp, throwing his head back. Wade groaned, his head falling to Peter's shoulder.

            Wade was in his seventh heaven. He was convinced that this was some kind of a wet dream, that he was still asleep and he was about to cum all in his pants.

            "If you don't want this," Peter whispered, "Stop me."

            "I want this." Wade responded, grabbing Peter's hips. He could feel that Peter was trembling, and he moved his head, pressing a wet, sloppy kiss against Peter's neck. Peter groaned, and his hips gave a little thrust. Wade responded in kind by bucking up against Peter, the friction on his cock absolutely delicious.

            Peter started making small thrusts with his hips, and it had been way too fucking long since Wade had been touched like this. His cock was pulsing already, needy for attention as he sped his grind against Peter.

            Wade began sucking a dark mark into Peter's neck. He wanted to leave something tangible, something permanent. Something to let him know, when this was over, that it wasn't a dream.

            "F-Fuck, Wade!" Peter stuttered, his hips increasing their rhythm and pressure against Wade. Wade let out a moan in response, sucking harder. All of Peter's skin against his own was making him feel drunk on the sensations. He was so hot; his cock was so hot; Peter was so damn hot.

            Wade pulled away, looking up at Peter. Peter looked down at him, his pupils blown wide as he grinned in triumph. Wade liked him back.

            Peter leaned forward, pressing his lips against Wade's as he felt his cock pulse. He'd hardly ever had an experience like this, and the way Wade was moving his body and the way his own body was responding was just too hot for him to handle. He didn't know if he was gonna last much longer.

            He pulled away from the kiss, a hot trail of salivia connecting him and Wade as he looked down to watch them rub against each other. Wade's hand wrapped around his body to grab at Peter's ass and Peter let out a shout, his hips increasing their speed against Wade's.

            He felt so damn close. He felt like his head was in the clouds and he was never coming down, and his entire body was pulsing with arousal and the need for release. He was dizzy with it, and hungry for more of Wade.

            "Peter." Wade groaned. He pulled Peter even closer, somehow, and the pressure against Peter had him reeling. "Gonna cum soon. Can't make it much longer, Baby Boy."

            Peter thought about that, about Wade cumming hard and long white streaks because of him, and suddenly, it was all he could handle.

            He threw his head back as he came, his dick pulsing and his hips desperately jerking as he came unraveled in Wade's arms.

            "Wade!" He exclaimed, as the pleasure radiated from his dick to the rest of his body. Wade's hips suddenly increased their pace, too, and Wade responded with a broken moan as he came.

            "Peter," Wade sighed, riding out the last waves of his own orgasm with a few shallow thrusts. Peter felt completely relaxed and boneless.

            "Fuck," He breathed, relaxing. "Wade, Wade, Wade." He leaned on Wade's shoulder, letting the relaxation of a good orgasm take hold of him. "Thank you."

            "Peter, Peter, Peter." Wade responded, sighing in contentment. "Thank you, too."

            "I think I want to take a nap now." Peter responded, shortly. Wade chuckled, keeping his grip on Peter as he stood.

            "I think I should take you to bed." He observed. Peter nodded his head in agreement. Bed sounded like a great option. Especially if it was Wade's bed.

            "You're coming too, right?" He asked. Wade scoffed.

            "Of course I am." He responded. Peter was pressed against him, chest to chest, and Wade carried both of them out of the hot tub. He pressed the button that drained and refilled it, knowing that leaving cum in the hottub was probably not the best thing to do in this situation.

            Wade carried Peter back to his room. They were both still damp and nearly naked, and he prayed that he didn't run into any chibis when they were like this.

            His prayers were answered.

            He brought Peter into his bedroom and shut the door behind them, walking over to the bed and setting Peter down on his own two feet.

            "Let me go get sleep pants. I have a pair for you to borrow." Wade announced, walking over to his dresser. He'd never felt more content in his life. Peter had just cum with Wade's name on his lips, and Wade knew that this was how it was meant to be.

            He tossed a pair of pants over his shoulder and got one for himself. He dropped his swim trunks to the floor and slipped on the dry pair of pants, turning to find Peter struggling to pull his pair up. He set his eyes upon one of the most glorious asses in the entire kingdom, as far as he was concerned. He smiled.

            This was real life. Peter had just willingly initiated a hot makeout session. Peter most likely wanted to do stuff like that again. Wade loved being alive sometimes.

            He crawled into bed, savoring the warmth underneath the sheets. Peter finally managed to get the pants up, and he turned to Wade, crawling under the covers. Peter cuddled into the soft pillows and looked up at Wade, his eyes shiny with affection.

            Wade felt his heart skip a beat.

            "I hope you know that you're really good at that." Peter stated. Wade moved closer to him under the soft blankets, wrapping his arms around Peter's body and pulling him close. Their skin was touching, and Wade's cock took an interest in the situation again. He forced it back down, wanting to enjoy this tender moment.

            "I hope you know I've wanted to do that with you since day one." Wade admitted.

            "We do kinda click, don't we?" Peter mused. He moved a bit, and Wade's entire body was pressed up against his in a way that was warm and blissful. He closed his eyes, tiredness making his lids heavy. His muscles relaxed as he sunk into the bed. It was the softest bed that he had ever been in.

            Wade felt his eyes close in response.

            The curse? Well, he supposed that that was toast.

~~~

            There was an insistent knocking on the door. There was something warm and heavy in his arms, and Wade felt a deep kind of contentment in his gut. This was bliss.

            The knocking didn't stop, though. Wade opened his eyes to see that the bundle in his arms was Peter. The memories came flooding back to him, and his cock stirred at the memory.

            "What?" He mumbled at the door. Then again, he knew what. Peter and him had kissed. Everything had gone back to normal now. The chibis were... Well, no longer chibis.

            "Wade, you gotta see this." Pietro urged. "Tony built a device that captures a picture."

            Wade's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. They had all been turned back to normal... and yet, Pietro was more concerned with Tony's invention? Why wasn't he celebrating the return of his genitals? Everyone who masturbated in the castle should be masturbating right now. At least, that was what Wade would do.

            Wade forced himself out of bed and walked over to the door, shuffling along the carpet on his way. He mumbled something unintelligible as he opened it. He was looking straight forward, but was met with empty air.

            "Wade," Pietro urged. Wade looked down to find Pietro still small.

            But, but... True love was supposed to fix the curse. If nobody was tall again, then... then...

            "Not right now." Wade said, trying to press down the panic that was in his mind. "Come back later, okay?"

            Pietro rolled his eyes. Wade didn't even wait for a response before he was shutting the door and turning around, looking at Peter lying in bed. Wade was foolish... he was stupid to think that even for a second him and Peter could love each other. He liked Peter, sure. But the thing was... he knew he was a monster.

            This must be stockholm syndrome, or something.

            He sunk to the floor, his back to the door as he buried his face in his hands.

            They were never going to be free of the curse.

            When Peter woke up, he noticed the distinct lack of Wade's body heat. He turned, confused, looking to see what had happened. Wade had been against him, warm and welcoming, just seconds before. He wanted a good morning kiss. They had slept for at least a few hours; Peter felt like he was entitled to that.

            His eyes settled upon Wade, on the floor, his head in his hands. Peter immediately sat up. He threw the covers off of his feet, kicking them away as he crawled over the bed and ran to Wade, sinking to the floor beside the door.

            "Wade?" He asked, gently. "Wade, what's wrong? Did I do something?" He questioned. Wade let out a bitter laugh at that, shaking his head.

            "No. Not on purpose." He mumbled. Peter tilted his head in confusion.

            "What do you mean, not on purpose?" He questioned. "Wade, what's wrong?"

            The silence in between Peter's question and Wade's answer stretched out like a desert without water. Peter felt anxiety beginning to coil in his stomach as he waited for Wade to come around, for Wadr to explain whatever it was that was happening. Peter needed answers.

            "The curse." Wade responded. Peter felt a mixture of relief and apprehension flood him as Wade opened up. "The curse was supposed to be broken. If you really felt for me. The chibis were supposed to be normal again."

            Peter blinked a couple of times. Oh. True love's first kiss. The most obvious of the curse breakers.

            "Wade," Peter said. Resolve settled inside of him like a brick house, unmoveable. He knew how he felt. He might not be completely in love yet, but he liked Wade. They were learning about each other, they were compatible. And Peter had never felt this strong about anyone else in his life. He knew that much to be true. He was going to be in love with Wade. "Wade, don't say that."

            "Then why is the curse still here?"

            "I'm not sure." Peter responded, honestly. "Please, help me figure it out. I promise Wade, this is the strongest I've ever felt about anybody. Don't jump to conclusions yet, please."

            "How am I not supposed to jump to conclusions, Peter?" Wade snapped, raising his head to glare at the other. Peter pulled back, shocked. Wade relaxed, and tears replaced the anger in his eyes. "I'm violent. I'm fucking ugly. I'm annoying. I understand why you couldn't feel that way about me."

            Peter softened. He put a hand on Wade's shoulder, and Wade turned away.

            "Wade, I don't feel that way about any of that. You've always kept yourself under control around me; your past doesn't define your future. You're so fucking hot. Do you really think I could get off with someone like I did with you if I wasn't attracted to them?" Peter questioned, desperately.

            Wade turned back towards him a little. His shoulders were still shaking and a tear fell down onto his sweat pants, but he didn't seem like he was as upset anymore. Peter continued.

            "And I wouldn't have stuck around if I thought you were annoying." He said, softly. "I think you're funny. I'm not lying here, Wade."

            "Promise?" Wade asked, gruffly. Peter sighed.

            "I'm not in love with you, we've not known each other long enough for that. But I can tell you that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that we get there. That was true love's first kiss because I know I will be in love with you, damn it, and I guarantee you that there's some other reason why that didn't break the curse."

            Wade sniffed, looking up at Peter with wide eyes. Peter leaned forward slowly, parting his lips. Wade leaned into his touch, his body melting just as Peter predicted he would. Their lips met, and a warmth radiated through Peter's body. He shivered pleasantly.

            He pulled away, his eyes glazed over in affection. Wade still looked upset, but less so.

            "Alright." He relented, rubbing his eyes dry. "What do you want to do?"

            "Do you have a copy of the original curse?" Peter asked. Wade nodded. "Then let's go look at that."

~~~

            'True love's kiss will undo

            'What this curse has burdened you,

            'When your heart is truly free,

            'And peaseants see ye for what ye be,

            'Then and only then abound,

            'Curse be broken, love be bound.'

            Peter reread the last words of the curse again and again. He was tired, and leaning into the paper. He felt like he was going to fall asleep at any minute, and he didn't want to. He wanted to keep helping Wade. He needed to find out what the spell really meant.

            He kept coming back to the line 'when your heart is truly free'. What did that mean?

            All of the rest of it at the beginning had been straightforward, but it seemed like parts of this were metaphorical moreso than anything else. He couldn't put his finger on why it would be different.

            "Peter," Wade groaned, draping his arms over Peter's shoulders. Peter leaned into Wade's warmth, feeling his heart flutter in anticipation.

            "Yeah?" Peter asked, enjoying the warmth of Wade's chest.

            "Let's give up for the night. We can go to bed." He said. The last bit, he ghosted his breath in Peter's ear. Peter gave a heavy shiver, feeling his cock respond to the suggestion. Wade licked up the shell of Peter's ear, and it was all Peter could do to keep himself from gripping his own cock through his pants. Fuck, Wade had him desperate quick.

            "I wanna find out what it is." he argued, even as he leaned into Wade's clever touch. Wade began kissing down Peter's neck, slowly and carefully. The wet heat of Wade's lips made his cock twitch in its confines.

            "If we go now, we can get in two rounds." Wade purred. Peter took a shaky breath. Fuck, twice? That sounded-

            Suddenly, he froze.

            "Wait a minute. Say that again." He commanded. Wade froze, pulling away from his skin. Confusion was clear in his demeanor.

            "Um. We could have two rounds?" Wade repeated. "Of sex. Just in case that wasn't clear."

            "No no no no no, you were crystal clear!" Peter declared, grinning broadly. "I just had to be sure."

            He started rereading the spell again, hunched over his book further. It was kinda lengthy, but Peter was a pretty good reader. Aunt May and Uncle Ben hadn't been great, being peasants, but they'd taught him young. After he knew the basics, he'd taken off in the area. He was good at a lot of literature things.

            It was a real shame in general that Peter didn't have access to education until now. But he couldn't mourn that right now, he was on a mission. (Plus, he was going to read every book in this damn library anyways if he had any kind of a say in it, so that was pretty much fixed now).

            He found the line he was looking for, and he underlined it, turning to Wade. "You see this here?"

            "Um, yes. Last I checked, I could read."

            Peter underlined the second line, looking back up to Wade.

            "So?" Wade asked, his brow furrowing as he looked between them. Peter groaned, burying his head in his hands as he attempted to hide his smile. He was giddy that he had figured it out.

            "So, she mentioned this twice. Why would she do that? She mentions your true ugliness being exposed to the Avengers already. And when she's talking about how to undo the curse, she mentions it again. But with the common people of your rule."

            Wade looked like something was beginning to click. "So what you're saying is...?"

            "You need to take back your throne and let the kingdom see you for what you really are to break the curse."

            Wade pulled back, his eyes widening.  A million emotions flickered across his face as he processed everything that was happening.

            "Hey hey hey hey hey," Peter interrupted, not wanting Wade to get upset again. "Don't. Okay? You don't even have to think about that right now. They'll understand if you aren't ready."

            "I don't think I'll ever be ready." Wade said, looking down. "My kingdom would never accept me. I'm a freak. I don't think anyone wants a king like me."

            "That's not true." Peter argued. Wade was clearly bummed out about this, and Peter understood that. Peter got up and walked towards him, putting a hand on Wade's shoulder in a mixture of sympathy and comfort. "But we don't have to talk about it right now. What's important is that we know."

            "Okay." Wade relented. He nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah. You're right. We'll think about this later."

            "For now," Peter said, his voice dropping a little lower, "Bed?"


	10. Firsts

Chapter 9

            Peter and Wade retired to Wade's bedroom late into the night. Peter could tell that his hands were sweating and he wasn't fighting against the blush that was currently coloring his cheeks. He knew that this was an invitation for something physical.

            Mostly because as soon as the door had shut, Wade had turned and pushed him against the door. Peter's shoulders dug into the wood as he nervously smiled. "Hey there."

            "Hey there yourself." Wade responded, one of his hands dropping to Peter's hips. Peter felt arousal stir within him, stronger than he'd ever felt it before. He leaned his head back, hitting the door with a dull thud as he let his eyes shut.

            Wade's response was to attach his lips to Peter's neck and begin to rhythmically suck. Peter's legs spread on instinct and he was rewarded when Wade pressed his thigh firmly against Peter's crotch, giving a thrust as he unlatched and chose another place to suck.

            Peter gave a breathy moan, his hands coming up to clutch at Wade's shoulders as he bucked his hips, rubbing his hard cock against Wade through their pants. Wade gave a low groan, his own hips increasing the pressure and speed of their thrusts.

            "Kiss me." Peter begged, his cock pulsing. Wade pulled away from his neck and hungrily connected their lips. Peter felt a tongue probing at his lips and he opened his mouth, eagerly accepting Wade in as they got tangled up in each other. Wade pulled away, gasping for breath, and looked Peter in the eyes.

            "Wanna take this to the bed?"

            Peter's cock twitched in response, and Wade broke out in a grin.

            "Yeah." Peter confirmed.

            Wade pulled away from Peter and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the bed. Peter missed the glorious pressure on his cock, and he was more than a little eager to get back into it and have Wade touching him again. He turned and threw himself onto the bed, grinning up at Wade.

            Wade crawled on top of him, ghosting his hands along Peter's sides as he put his leg in between Peter's again. Wade looked lusty and predatory and satisfied all at the same time. Peter wanted to get him off so bad.

            Wade spoke in between pressing kisses to Peter's jaw. "Have you ever been sucked off before?"

            "Yeah, once." Peter admitted. (Of course, that was one of the things he'd done with Mary Jane). Wade gave his earlobe a small nip, and Peter shivered. "Why? Are you offering?"

            "Definitely. You liked it?" Wade asked. He was already crawling down Peter's body, and Peter felt desperately turned on. He struggled to find his voice past the heady images clicking through his mind. Wade's lips around his cock would be fucking heaven, and here Wade was. Offering him a blowjob oh so casually.

            "Yes?" Peter squeaked. Wade responded by unzipping his pants, and glanced up to Peter again.

            "If you want me to stop, tell me to stop. I will." Wade informed him. Peter nodded.

            Wade slipped Peter's pants down over his hips, his underwear coming with it. Wade was on his knees, his legs spread wide. Peter's cock, now naked and harder than ever, curving seductively upwards, was begging him to get the show on the road.

            Wade licked his lips as he looked Peter up and down. He was so damn hard. His cock was long and pretty, like it had literally been sculpted. Wade rose up and delicately ran his tongue over the head.

            Peter's hips bucked as his head fell back, a moan tearing itself from his lips. Wade responded by taking the head into his mouth and sinking down, the first few inches of Peter's cock enveloped in wet heat as Wade's hand held the base of his cock steady. Peter let out a moan, his hands fisting the bedsheets as he panted.

            Wade set a gruelingly slow pace. Peter had to keep himself from thrusting up. It just felt so fucking right to have Wade's mouth wrapped around him, so good. And whenever Peter managed to stop stretching his neck back and fisting the bedsheets, it was a sight to behold. Wade's pupils were blown out in lust and his cheeks were hollowed as he concentrated on his task.

            "F-Fuck, Wade. Faster, please." Peter requested. Wade gave a small moan in response, and he picked up the pace. Peter's cock twitched in his mouth and pleasure almost overcame him. Peter wanted to cum so badly, he needed to cum.

            Wade pulled off, looking up at Peter like he was a saint.

            "You like that, Baby?"

            Peter gave a short nod, still panting. A flush of heat had spread over his entire body. "Please keep going, Wade?"

            "I will, baby boy." Wade promised. The hand around the base of Peter's cock started to move, keeping him stimulated. "Do you want me to finger you? Or would you wanna top?"

            Peter considered for a moment.

            "Kinda both? I want you inside me... but I'd kinda like to control the pace." Peter admitted. Wade nodded eagerly, his eyes lighting up.

            "Oh fuck, that sounds hot. Okay, yeah. Could you reach into that dresser and pass me the lube?" Wade requested. After that, his mouth was promptly full of cock again as he sank down onto Peter suddenly, sheathing him in warmth.

            Peter groaned as he twisted his upper body towards the drawer, barely managing to get it open and grab the little bottle inside. He tossed it down onto the bed next to Wade and thanked his lucky stars that him and Wade had gotten off together this morning, because if they hadn't he would have already popped his top.

            Wade reached over to the lube and briefly stopped sucking Peter off. Wade poured some lube onto his fingers and promptly went back to Peter's cock. This time he gave it teasing licks, tracing the veins with his tongue instead of engulfing him. Peter liked this almost just as much; he got to see how enthusiastic Wade was. The idea that Wade really liked sucking his cock was hot as fuck.

            Wade's fingers lined up with his entrance, and Peter sucked in a sharp breath as the first one pressed inside. He closed his eyes, losing himself in the sensation as Wade pressed the first finger in as far as it would go. Wade's tongue never stopped paying attention to his cock, and Peter's entire body was singing with pleasure.

            Wade inserted a second finger, and Peter felt both of them pushing forward, stretching him pleasantly. He found that the sensation was strange, but not all that painful. The fingers were slow and careful in sliding in and out of him, and it felt nice. The stretch and burn wasn't something that he was used to, but it was damn good. He could tell that it was going to get better.

            Once Peter was fully relaxed, Wade added a third finger to the mix. Peter felt his entire body flush with arousal at the fingers up against his walls, stretching him in preparation for Wade's nice, thick cock. Once it started feeling good, Peter didn't want it to stop. He wanted every inch of Wade inside of him; the fingers weren't enough anymore.

            "W-Wade," He begged, panting heavily, "Let me have your cock. I'm ready."

            Wade pulled out his fingers, and Peter felt empty. Wade took his glorious mouth off of Peter's cock and crawled up the bed to flop into place beside Peter, reaching down to take off his own pants. Peter got the memo and took off his own shirt eagerly before he started pushing at Wade's, wanting to see every inch of Wade's skin. It took all of his self-control not to drool once Wade's arm muscles were exposed.

            Wade grabbed the lube and poured some more onto his hand, in his palm. He then began massaging his cock with it, getting himself nice and wet. Peter watched in fascination and arousal as Wade's breath twitched at the slightest touch. Oooh, he had been turned on awhile and was sensitive.

            Peter was about to have a lot of fun with that.

            Wade deemed himself wet enough and propped himself up onto the pillows, his cock hard and brazenly on display. Peter knew what came next on instinct and he straddled Wade's hips , leaning forward to give him a short, sloppy kiss before pulling back.

            He raised his hips up and reached down between his legs, finding Wade's cock and wrapping his hand around it. Wade let out a breathy moan, and Peter's own cock twitched in response. Peter lined Wade up with his entrance and slowly, slowly, began to sink down.

            Inch by inch, Wade's thick cock entered him. Peter had never felt more full of sensation in his life. Everything was so fucking hot, and he was hyper-aware of every bit of Wade's cock filling him to the brim. Peter's hands had both gone to Wade's shoulders for support.

            "Fuck, Peter," Wade groaned. Peter adjusted quickly, and proceeded to fulfill Wade's request.

            He began moving up and down on Wade's cock, already setting a steady pace as he curved his back. He saw almost-stars light up his vision as Wade's cock pressed against something fucking good. The more he moved, the more Wade pressed against his prostate, the better it felt.

            Peter's cock begged for attention between them, but he was closer than Wade and he wanted them to finish together. He kept his hands firmly on Wade's shoulders as he continued to move, rocking back on Wade's cock.

            "Fuck, Peter. Oh, fuck! You feel so good," Wade praised. Peter responded by picking up the pace, his hands beginning to squeeze Wade's chest as his entire body flushed with heat.

            "Fuck me." Peter demanded. "Harder, now."

            Wade eagerly complied, his heels digging into the mattress as he began to fuck up into Peter. Peter let out a moan of approval as Wade's cock went in him harder and deeper and faster, making him almost dizzy with it.

            "Fuck, yes. Wade." Peter praised, picking up his own pace. Wade grinned.

            "You like this? You like my cock?"

            "I'd like it more if you'd go harder." Peter responded, his fingers on Wade's shoulders turning into nails on Wade's chest. Wade's eyes widened and Peter felt Wade's cock twitch again inside of him. Fuck, that was good.

            It was like Peter had broken something open in Wade that he hadn't known about before. Wade was pistoning into him now, helping raise Peter up and down as fast and hard as he could on his cock. Peter could feel his muscles constricting and protesting the unfamiliar movement, and that made him squeeze around Wade's cock tighter. It filled him up so nicely.

            "Mmm, Wade, fuck. That's the spot." Peter praised. Wade's skin was flushed a deep red as he continued to thrust up into Peter. The scarred texture of his skin against Peter's own was almost mesmerizing.

            "You gonna cum for me?" Wade growled. Heat flared through Peter at the words. His body responded like it had been waiting for just this moment, and he nodded eagerly as he continued to slam himself down on Wade's cock.

            "Touch me. Touch me, Wade," Peter commanded. Wade's hand eagerly found Peter's cock, and a moan was practically torn from Peter's throat.

            Wade's hands were rough but oh so right on his cock and Wade's dick just kept filling him up again and again, hitting spots that made Peter feel like he was on fire. It was a slow burn but it had grown into an almost uncontrollable flame, and he wanted to let himself be engulfed.

            "F-Fuck, so close." Peter said. If it was even possible, Wade went faster. Peter slammed himself down harder, and his prostate sang under the abuse. Peter felt his cock swell and his balls tighten as he came in long, hot spurts, his muscles twitching and his hole becoming a fucking vice around Wade. His whole body felt alive with pleasure.

            "Wade!" He cried out, coating his own stomach and some of Wade's chest with his cum. Wade groaned in response, his face becoming pure bliss at Peter's tightness and eagerness.

            Peter's whole body slumped and he relaxed most of his muscles. He stayed tight around Wade's cock, and he forced himself to move through the post-orgasm haze. His hips continued their movements, though more sluggishly.

            Peter whimpered at the pressure of Wade against his now-sensitive prostate.

            "What are you doing?" Wade questioned. But his face showed pure bliss, and his white knuckles now fisting the sheets showed that he was damn close.

            "I'm going to make you finish with me. Cum inside me." Peter told him, moving a little faster despite the too-sharp pleasure it caused him. Fuck, his cock was twitching, and a little more cum leaked out even as he was growing soft.

            It didn't take long. Wade grabbed Peter's hips and bucked up into him fast a few times, causing Peter to cry out in pleasure-pain as he was filled with Wade's semen. Wade groaned, "Fuck, Peter!"

            Finally, Peter unseated himself. He collapsed beside Wade, snuggling into him as both if them lay content. They were both sweaty and covered in cum, but Peter wanted to be as intimate as possible right then. He wanted Wade as close to him as he could get him.

            "That was damn good." Peter purred, nuzzling into Wade's neck. "You take instructions well."

            "You give instructions well." Wade told him. "Holy shit, that was hot. I wasn't expecting it from you but boy I am not complaining."

            Peter smiled. "Well, that's good to hear. Because there's a lot more where that came from."

            Peter had just had his first time with a man. And he was fucking glowing. He trusted and liked Wade, and he couldn't be more happy. He felt cared for, and he felt fucking sexy. He knew that Wade and him would likely have many repeats of that in the near future, and his still-soft cock even twitched at the idea. Maybe one day soon, he could even fuck Wade?

            "I'm tired." Wade commented, giving a yawn. Peter's own body had given up on even trying to stay awake at this point.

            "Goodnight." Peter responded, simply. He dodged forward and gave Wade a quick kiss on the cheek before nuzzling back into his body. Wade turned, grabbing Peter's legs and tangling them up together. Peter felt content.

            "Goodnight." Wade responded. He didn't have to say it for Peter to know it was true; this was the happiest that Wade had been in a long time.


	11. Innuendo Bingo

Chapter 10

            The next day found Peter hunched over mechanics books, Tony at his side with an array of parts in a neat stack beside him. Peter reached over and picked a part, fitting it into the contraption he was already making. He was copying directly from the book.

            Wade popped his head around the corner, looking at the two of them. "Hey, nerds. Some of the rest of us are doing not-nerd things. Wanna tag along?"

            "What are we gonna do, hotbox the dungeon?" Peter responded, rolling his eyes at Wade's teasing.

            Wade didn't respond for a moment. Peter realized that it had been far longer than usual, and he looked up to make sure that something wasn't wrong. A look of incredulous mystification sat upon Wade's face. He looked like a star had just opened up and God had walked out to let him know he was special.

            "How have I never thought of that before?" He questioned, turning around and walking out of the room with a purpose. Peter shrugged and continued to work on his contraption with Tony. He couldn't wait. This was, supposedly, going to make a box that created music when he was done.

            Wade came back a couple of minutes later. "Just realized that was a joke, and even though it was, I'm gonna do it anyways. But like, back to the problem at hand. It's a picnic."

            That caught Peter's attention. His stomach gave a displeased rumble as it begged for him to go and eat a freaking sandwich.

            "Okay," He said, slowly. "I will come to your picnic. Are you really bringing drugs?"

            "Unfortunately? No. But we'll discuss that in greater detail later." Wade announced. Peter finished clicking the piece he was working on into place, feeling his chest fill with fondness. He turned to Tony.

            "Do you want to come too?" He questioned.

            "I don't think I do, actually. I'm not interested if there aren't any drugs." He teased. "On a serious note, I have some updates to the falcon suit that I have to work on. So I will not be coming to the stupid picnic. But have fun without me."

            Peter got up from his seat, stretching as he decided that a picnic would be kinda fun. He walked out of the room and next to Wade, leaning on him a little as they started towards the kitchen. He was pretty blissed out after how amazing last night had been.

            They found the kitchen and walked in together, close and dreamy-eyed. Peter had the feeling that Wade's brain was in the same place that his was, and it sent an excited thrill through him.

            Loki and Wanda were struggling to make sandwiches, while Bucky and Steve loaded up the basket with fruits. Bucky was carrying a few plums, while Steve had chosen a handful of grapes.

            Loki turned towards them with a cynical look. It felt a little like they were being dissected, and suddenly, Peter was hyper-aware of their position.

            "...What happened?" Loki questioned. "You two seem even flirtier than usual."

            Peter froze. Wade hadn't... Wade hadn't told them? Of course he hadn't. Fuck, what if they all lost their shit when it turned out that Wade and Peter were together and they hadn't turned back to normal? What the hell would they think? They would probably be hopeless.

            "Haha, very funny, Loki." Peter said, forcing a laugh. He pushed himself off of Wade, clearing his throat. "Yeah, like we'd flirt with each other."

            Wade looked incredibly confused for just a moment, until a look of understanding passed over his face.

            Peter didn't want people to know that they were together. That stung a little bit more than Wade would care to admit, but who was keeping track, really? He should have expected this.

            "Right!" Wade agreed, grinning half-heartedly at Loki. "Dating isn't my forte anymore, sport."

            Loki's eyebrows came together, and he looked between the two of them, confused.

            "Okay then." He said, shaking his head. He turned away from them, grabbing the last of the picnic food and loading it into the basket. He took it and started walking towards the rose garden, headed towards what was obviously the most perfect picnic spot in the castle. He mumbled, "And they say that I'm the weird one."

            Wade glanced over at Peter, but it was pretty hard to keep his slight upset with the situation contained, so he didn't hold the look for long. "We should go with the picnic." He informed Peter, before heading towards the back door.

            "Okay." Peter agreed, following behind him. The door was shut hard behind them and Wade flinched as it slammed. Everyone turned to stare at them.

            "Sounds like the headboard last night." Peter snarked, without even thinking. He then turned to a wide-eyed audience and immediately tried to fix this clusterfucked situation. "I mean, because Wade masturbates! Not because he was having sex with anyone."

            "Yeah, who would I have sex with here?" Wade asked, nodding. "You're right, Peter. Any headboard banging that was heard last night was the result of me making sweet sweet love to myself. Rubbing one out. Alone."

            "So alone." Peter added.

            Bucky turned to Steve.

            "I know I've been a little out of it since that enemy kidnapped me and cut my arm off and all, but that was real, right? That really just happened?" He mumbled, in a low tone. Steve glanced back at Peter and Wade.

            "Um, yeah." He confirmed.

            "Okay, then what. What the actual fuck?" Bucky requested. "Is this some weird culture thing I missed? Please tell me this is like the 'memes'."

            "I don't think so." Steve said, cringing in sympathy at Wade and Peter's pained expressions.

            Peter was the first to break the almost-silence that settled over them. He grabbed the blanket and began spreading it out on the ground. There were several rose bushes around, and a couple of dandelions in the tall grass. Peter thought that it was nice and tranquil, and he took a deep breath of fresh air to help calm him down. It was okay. Nobody had probably noticed anything, right?

            He sat down on the corner of the blanket and put his hands on either side, leaning back to bask in the sunlight. Wade, of course, was already interested in the food from the beginning and reached into the basket to pull out their sandwiches and paper plates.

            He passed one to Peter before he immediately lifted his to his mouth and took a big bite, chewing just three times before he swallowed. Peter idly watched his throat move, and once again was caught up in the feeling that it was just the two of them.

            "You sure are good at swallowing." He said, without even realizing what he had done. Wade looked over at him in surprise and Peter realized the context of the words. "Oh, not like that. I mean in a literal sense. I mean, I guess the sex way is also in the literal sense but like. That was a lot of sandwich. Purely sandwich-related swallowing."

            Wade blinked at him, several times, before slowly taking another bite. Peter felt like he was going to face-palm through his own skull and ascend to the astral realm. (That's self care).

            He picked up his own sandwich and took a big bite.

            Wade looked over and saw that Peter had a little bit of something by his mouth. But sometimes, words tended to escape Wade. And for whatever reason, (probably because God hated him and everything that he had ever done) the word for mayonaise was one of those that fateful day.

            "You've got some white stuff around your mouth." Wade told Peter, leaning in to wipe it off with his finger. Peter froze, looking at Wade out of the side of his eye. "In like, a totally nonsexual way. The white stuff that you usually put on sandwiches."

            Pietro looked at Peter and Wade back and forth, his sandwich in his hands untouched as he dissected them. Wanda looked like she couldn't give a shit.

            Peter took another bite of his sandwich. He was trying to eat fast, to get it over with. His lunch meat chicken didn't really sit well with him when he was this nervous.

            "Be careful, or you'll choke on that meat." Wade said, nodding. "Chicken is dry, I mean. Don't choke on the chicken. Not to be confused with choke the chicken, I mean, why would I be thinking of that? I would never think of Peter masturbating."

            Now, Peter's brain was filled with images of Wade watching him masturbate. It was glorious, it was hot, and he was gonna drool if he didn't very quickly distract himself.

            "I would never think of you thinking of me masturbating. Just so we're clear here." Peter defended, nodding. "Nope. Never that."

            At this point, all of the chibis were looking at them oddly. Peter stared back at them, blinking.

                        "This is getting a little hard to handle." He said. The hilarity of the situation was just now starting to set in, and he started to genuinely laugh. After a few seconds, Wade joined in. Peter was still nervous and upset that Wade would be mad at him for it all underneath the humor, but overall he thought that this whole thing was sort of hilarious.

            Pretty soon they were both laughing so hard they were clutching their stomachs, and Peter was on the ground, his hair in the grass. The chibis were all staring at them like they had suddenly started speaking Latin, and Peter assumed that they were pretty confused at this point.

            "Wade," He forced himself to say, in between giggles, "Can I talk to you? P-Privately?"

            Wade sobered up some, but he still seemed a little dopey. That was just how Peter liked him. He just hoped that that good attitude would stay when Peter proposed that they... Not hide it from the chibis.

            Wade got up and offered Peter his hand. Peter took it, pulling himself off the blanket and following behind Wade. To his surprise, Wade brought him to a gazebo with trellises on every side, instead of going back to the kitchen. Peter definitely couldn't complain; there were flowers growing up every side of it, wild and colorful. Sunlight streaked in, but overall, it was a very private place to be.

            "Well, we kinda blew that." Peter observed, grinning at Wade. Wade couldn't help but return his look.

            "I just hope you aren't too upset with me for that one." He admitted. "I promise, normally I'm a lot more secretive about my torrid love affairs."

            Peter's brain ground to a halt, and his eyebrows furrowed as he analyzed what Wade had just said. Wait... What? Like seriously, what the actual fuck??

            "Wait. You... Say that like I didn't want them to know that we were together." Peter clarified. He saw a flash of pain in Wade's eyes, just a little bit of hurt. Had he not known how insecure Wade was before they got into this whole mess, he might not have even realized that it was there in the first place. Wade turned away, and didn't answer him. That was all the confirmation that Peter needed. "Oh my God, Wade. No! I thought you didn't want them to know what we were doing!"

            Wade turned towards him, blinking slowly several times. "Um." He said, looking completely dumbfounded. "Why would I want to hide the fact that I got it in with a Major Fucking Hottie, copyright Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way."

            Peter ignored that last part. Mostly because he didn't even want to question Wade at this point. He had resigned himself to never understanding what the other man was saying.

            "Because you didn't want them to freak out about the curse not being broken?" Peter guessed. "I just thought that you didn't wanna cause the drama. I had no clue that you were okay with them knowing, Wade."

            "If I would have known you were okay with it, I would have already bragged about it to every chibi in the castle." Wade let Peter know. "I'm ridiculously proud that you're even looking my way. You're smart and get my jokes-"

            "Sometimes." Peter interrupted, smirking a little.

            "-More than most people, yeah." Wade admitted. He looked at Peter, and his eyes were glazed over in affection. "I want you to know that I'm ridiculously happy with whatever you wanna call this. Pre-love, affection, hell, even just friends with benefits. I'd be disappointed if you didn't want anything more, but I'm just so fucking happy that you want me."

            "You don't have to worry about that." Peter reassured, stepping closer to Wade and immediately wrapping his arms around him. He hugged Wade close, inhaling his rich, husky scent. "I don't think I could do friends with benefits. You... Make me feel safe. I want to try for more. I think that's what we should be."

            "Good." Wade confirmed, his eyes glazed over in adoration. There was a small pause, and Peter' chest felt full of affection. It was odd, how close he'd become with Wade in such a short amount of time. Like... They had always been meant to come together like this. "Then let's go and tell some chibis."

            Peter leaned forward, letting his eyes close as he gently pressed his lips against Wade's. Wade's own were warm and soft and pliant under his, and it made a tingle go up his spine. He really did love this.

            Peter and Wade walked back to the picnic holding hands.

~~~

            Later that night found Peter in the library, hunched over a... very special kind of book. The kind he'd never read before. The kind that was getting him a little... hot under the collar.

            It was an erotic story.

            Peter didn't know much about sex, but some of this stuff was fucking hot. He never would have thought of fucking someone's throat. But now that he did, fuck, it sounded hot. The couple in this were experimental. They were passionate. And Peter definitely wanted to try some of this out with Wade.

            The one he was most interested in was edging. Wade had sounded so fucking hot the other night, right before he came. Peter wanted to make him sound like that all the time. He would drag those moments out as long as he could.

            A presence was behind him, a shadow falling over Peter's shoulder. He continued reading, unhindered.

            "Whatchya lookin at?" Wade questioned, his arms falling on Peter's shoulders.

            "Oh, you know. Stuff. There's something I wanna try with you." He admitted. He stopped reading and turned, his eyes doing dark and lusty as he looked Wade up and down. "If you'd be okay with it."

            Wade's eyes darkened, his pupils widening. "What do you wanna do to me, Baby?"

            "I kinda wanna edge you. Like, keep you from cumming for as long as possible. Does that... Sound like something you would be interested in?" Peter asked, a little nervous. He didn't want Wade to freak out, or think that his possible kink was stupid. But a glossy look passed over Wade's eyes, and a shiver wracked his body.

            "Fuck, Baby. Yes, you can edge me. When do you want to...?"

            "Right now, maybe?" Peter suggested, his voice easily raising an octave.

            Wade's eyes immediately darkened as he grabbed Peter's arm and gently urged him out of the chair. As soon as Peter faced Wade, he was met with a passionate kiss that left his head spinning and his lips swollen as his skin pulsed with Wade's ecstatic touch.

            When he pulled away, his eyes were lust-darkened. "Wanna head back to the bedroom?"

            Peter smirked and grabbed Wade's hand, eagerly leading him out of the library. They made their way to Wade's bedroom in between a series of kisses and hands on skin and fucking hot grinding sessions against a wall, and Peter already felt like he was about to burst by the time the door shut behind them.

            Which was good for his plan.

            He grabbed Wade's shoulders and gently pushed him down, encouraging Wade to fall to his knees. Wade eagerly did so, staring at the bulge in Peter's pants with delight.

            "For this to work right, I have to have some stamina." Peter announced, unbuttoning his pants. He was blushing, and praying to God above that he wouldn't immediately cum as soon as Wade's mouth was around him. "So I have to get off once before we get to the good stuff."

            "Can I swallow?" Wade requested, reaching up to help Peter's shaking hands slip his pants over his hips. Peter almost drooled at the thought, but he narrowly avoided it. Besides, that wasn't what he had in mind for right now.

            "Depends." Peter said, casually. "Are you interested in maybe... Letting me... Yknow. Cum on your face?"

            Peter was one hundred percent certain that his face was as red as it could ever get. He was embarrassed when it came to talking about his kinks, but Wade was so... Enthusiastic. It gave him the strength to ask for what he wanted.

            "Fuck," Wade breathed, eyes darkening. "Okay. Okay, tell me when you're close so I can pull off. You better fuck my thrussy good."

            "I will." Peter promised. "Mostly so you can't say the word 'thrussy' again while we're doing this."

            Wade grinned, but didn't respond aside from wrapping his lips around Peter's cock. He set a fast pace straight from the start, bobbing his head up and down on Peter's dick like it was a particularly tasty piece of candy. Peter was curling his toes and holding onto his clothes, overwhelmed and focusing on trying not to cum too soon.

            Wade sank deeper and deeper on his dick, his eyes heated as his mouth stretched around Peter. Peter was long and fucking perfect for blowjobs. He wasn't wide enough that Wade had to excessively worry about teeth, but he was the perfect size to make his mouth feel nice and full. Peter hit the back of his throat and Wade saw stars.

            He pulled off, a strand of spit connecting him to Peter's dick as he looked up.

            "Can you fuck my throat? If I relax enough, please Baby?" Wade begged, his cock pulsing in his pants from just the idea. Peter, whose face was flushed red, nodded fervently.

            "I can try." He confirmed. Wade immediately put his mouth back around Peter's dick and went down as far as he could, relaxing his throat as Peter's head hit against it.

            After a moment of (very cute) hesitation, Peter grabbed Wade's head and tentatively pushed his cock against the back of Wade's throat. Wade focussed on not choking as the head slipped in, pushing past his muscles and making him moan. Peter gave a blissed-out whimper at the vibrations traveling up his cock, and Wade did it again.

            Peter set a slow and steady pace, most likely taking care not to overwhelm Wade. Wade's cock was pulsing and his skin was hot. Fuck, he wanted Peter. He wanted every inch of Peter's perfect cock in his ass this very minute.

            He moaned a little at the thought, knowing that that was coming soon, too. Peter's cock twitched in his mouth and all at once, Peter pulled out, his cock covered in Wade's spit. Wade immediately, eagerly reached up, his hands happy to have something to do as he stroked Peter as fast and as tight as he could manage.

            With a startled cry, Peter came. Long, white ribbons left his cock and landed on Wade's face, coating his skin with the milky white. Wade was staring at him in sheer, unadulterated lust as he eagerly cleaned what was left on his lips off with his tongue.

            "Fuck," Peter panted, coming down from his high. Looking at Wade, leaning back on the floor with his face covered in Peter's cum, still fully-clothed and panting like he was in a damn heat, was one of the hottest things Peter had ever seen. He glanced towards the bed, knowing where this was going next.

            "Take off your clothes." Peter commanded. Now that they were a little more intimate, his dominant side was coming out. He wanted Wade to obey. He wanted to fucking ravish him.

            Wade did as he was told, slipping off his shirt and letting his pants and underwear fall to the floor. His cock was nice and hard, heavy between his legs as he awaited further instruction.

            Peter walked up to him, wrapping a hand tentatively around Wade's thick cock. He pumped a couple of times, loving the feel of it in his hands. "You like this?"

            "Fuck, yes." Wade responded, rocking his hips up into Peter's fist. Peter smirked.

            He let go of Wade's cock, leaving it twitching. "Lay down on the bed for me and spread your legs."

            Wade did as he was told, climbing onto the bed and lying down on his back with his legs spread. Peter took off his own clothes until he was completely naked, ignoring the fact that his cock wasn't hard again yet. (But it would be soon. He was still damn turned on).

            He opened the bedside drawer and found Wade's lube. He cracked it open and poured a generous amount on his fingers, slipping between Wade's spread legs and slipping his fingers down to Wade's hole. Wade sucked in a gasp, and Peter leaned forward, his bare stomach against Wade's cock as he pressed hot kisses into Wade's chest.

            Wade groaned, arching into Peter as Peter's first finger pushed forward, sinking into him.

            Peter pulled away from Wade's chest, denying him the friction on his cock as he pushed his second finger into Wade's already-pliant entrance. Wade had had a lot of practice in prepping himself, and it showed. Peter was excited for how eager Wade was.

            "You wanna have your dick sucked?" Peter offered, looking at it fondly. Fuck, it would make him hard again if he could have Wade in his mouth. "Or do you think you wouldn't be able to handle it?"

            "Fuck, please." Wade begged, squirming. Peter leaned down and licked a stripe up Wade--he'd never sucked anyone's cock before, and he wanted to get a little taste of what he was in for before he started to actually try.

            Finding the taste non-repulsive, Peter wrapped his lips around the tip and sank down, letting out a low sound at the taste of Wade. He was nice and thick and felt damn good in Peter's mouth, twitching as Peter's fingers worked in his ass.

            Peter's mouth was slow on Wade's cock, tortuously so. Wade almost couldn't handle the intensity of how much care Peter put into running his tongue alongside the bottom. It was obvious that he was a beginner when he did little things like losing suction or adding just a little too much teeth for a moment, but he was still damn good in Wade's book. Fuck, his mouth was so hot.

            Peter, when he realized that Wade was good and ready and his dick was hard again, pulled off of Wade's cock. It was a sad goodbye. He was going to come back to that again later, if he had any say in it.

            Peter rubbed some more lube on his own, now-aching cock. He pushed Wade back on the bed, and Wade's cock twitched at the display of Peter's strength. Peter climbed onto the bed and his hands  went to Wade's shoulders as Wade's knees locked around his hips, lifting them up so that Peter's cock was in line with Wade's entrance.

            Peter pushed forward, and Wade was like a vice around him. He gave a groan as he sank deep inside of Wade, his dick pulsing.

            "F-Fuck," he panted, as he bottomed out. Wade gave a moan in response, shifting his hips up against Peter's. Peter responded by pulling out a little and pushing back in, beginning a nice and slow rhythm for them.

            "F-Faster," Wade requested. Peter's eyes shut as he enjoyed the feeling of Wade gripping him, and his hips couldn't help but respond to Wade's request. He went a little bit harder and a little bit faster as Wade relaxed.

            But he had a mission here. As fucking fantastic as it was to be inside of Wade, as much as it was making his skin hot and his dick twitch, he had another plan. He had to stay on-task.

            He shifted Wade's hips up, changing his angle as he continued to thrust. Wade gave a small moan, melting into the sheets. Peter changed his angle again, knowing that he was closer this time to finding what he wanted.

            Wade's moans got louder and more insistent as he begged, "Fuck, Peter. Doin' such a good job for me Baby. Harder, please."

            Peter knew that he was hitting something good. He kept fucking into Wade's pliant body, one of his hands drifting down to grab Wade's cock. He pumped and pulled and rubbed at Wade's head, trying to get him as stimulated as possible. Wade responded by tightening up around Peter, his cock twitching and beginning to swell.

            "I'm close." Wade panted. Peter did what he knew he had to do.

            He stopped moving altogether.

            Wade gave a moan, throwing his head back as a broken look crossed his face. Peter's hand was stopped around the base of his cock and Peter's dick was still inside of him. He wanted more. He wanted to cum all over Peter's chest.

            But he knew that that wasn't what Peter wanted, and he held on fast. He couldn't help but feel like he was falling apart as his orgasm receded.

            "Okay," He panted, "I'm good now. Keep going."

            Peter immediately started pounding into him with the same vigor as before, and it dawned on Wade that he had no idea how many times Peter wanted to edge him before he would give in and let Wade cum.

            The idea of being so fucking close was so hot to him that his cock twitched, heat rapidly rising within him. The fact that he knew there would be no sweet relief to this fire made it burn all the brighter within him.

            "C-Close!" He called out. Peter stopped again, and Wade fisted the sheets, trying to maintain his self control. He gave a small whine of loss, looking up at Peter. Peter's eyes had opened, and a self-satisfied smirk was playing on his lips.

            "Are you having fun?" Peter questioned, his voice a flat-out purr. Wade gave a broken groan, and his arm came down to cover his eyes. Peter's lips were suddenly on his neck, biting and licking and sucking his skin. Wade felt his arousal flare again, and he moaned loudly.

            "Peter!" He declared. Peter responded by giving his cock a few, quick pumps. Just enough to keep him on the fucking edge. Just enough to keep him dizzyingly tight around Peter's cock, he was sure. He could feel every inch of Peter inside him and fuck, he would give anything to have Peter just fucking move again, god damn it. "Move. Please."

            Peter, luckily for him, wasn't feeling too sadistic right then. He slowly pulled out before slamming back in, setting a pace even faster than the one he had before. His hand left Wade's cock and Wade felt Peter's dick hitting all the right places as Peter put his full attention on fucking Wade silly. Wade felt dizzy.

            "Fuck, Wade." Peter moaned, his hips pistoning his dick in and out of Wade. Fuck, it was so good. Wade's body was just begging for his cock. It made him feel confident. It made him feel sexy. It made him feel like him and Wade were joined. Linked. Connected.

            "Fuck," Wade said. His sensitive prostate was pounded nice and hard, and he felt his muscles start to shake from the pleasure. His pleasure started to crest, and he knew that he had to let Peter know. He knew that he couldn't just let himself cum. He needed Peter's permission now, for it to be good. "Close."

            Peter stopped all at once, and Wade had to bite his fist to keep himself from making any noise. Fuck. His entire body was on fire. All his muscles were tensed, ready for orgasm. Every time it was getting more and more intense, harder and harder to control himself. Peter was making his body feel alive in a way that it hadn't in a damn long time. He could feel everything, and everything felt so fucking good that it almost hurt.

            "Please," Wade begged. He needed climax. He needed to cum like a diver needed air. He wasn't going to last much longer like this; speared on Peter's cock. He would cum from the sight of it if he didn't get relief soon. But he wanted permission.

            "Alright." Peter relented. He returned his hand to Wade's pulsing cock, and Wade arched his back. He let out a grateful moan, and Peter looked down at him in affection. "You're gonna cum for me, right, Wade? Gonna cum all over yourself from my cock?"

            "Who taught you to dirty-talk?" Wade questioned, accusingly. Peter started to thrust again, and his question flew out the window as his entire world view narrowed down to the two of them, to Peter and his cock and how much Wade wanted to milk it.

            "I've been doing some light reading." Peter explained. He was pounding into Wade with abandon now, and Peter was making some of the most beautiful noises. Moaning and groaning and grunting, his face the picture of bliss.

            Wade moaned in return, his vocal chords taking over entirely. He couldn't control the sounds that were spilling from his mouth, couldn't help it when he felt so damn good.

            His orgasm was starting slower than it usually did, his body expecting for him to stop again. It started at his very fucking toes, and everything was on fire. He could feel every cell of his body singing as Peter pounded into his ass, the sound of panting and heavy breathing and moaning filling his ears as Peter fucking went to town on him.

            Wade was so damn close.

            "Peter, fuck fuck fuck, Peter!" Wade chanted, to the tune of the music their bodies were making. There was something carnal and beautiful about what they were doing, and Wade loved every minute of it. His body was a fire, his skin hot and tingly with pleasure.

            "Cum, Wade." Peter growled. "I won't stop you, Baby."

            Wade did just that.

            His back arched as he came hard, painting his chest with it as Peter continued fucking into his body and milking his cock, making it last as long as it possibly could. Wade didn't know Euphoria was a place but into its pearly gates he entered, had tea with the queen, and then was slammed back into reality as pleasure continued to course through him.

            Finally, his cock was twitching, but done. Peter gave a few more thrusts and then he came himself, emptying his cum inside of Wade.

            They sat there, panting, as Peter went soft.

            He slipped out, falling onto the bed beside Wade. Peter's face was one of complete and total satisfaction, and it made Wade feel like his heart was having an orgasm.

            "We have got to do that again." Peter suggested, immediately snuggling into Wade's side.

~~~

            "I don't know if I can tell them." Wade said, worriedly. He peaked out into the throne room, at the awaiting chibis. He didn't know if he could do this to them.

            "Hey," Peter comforted. He grabbed Wade's shoulder and pulled him into a hug, knowing that that was what Wade needed. Wade was stiff at first, but but he slowly relaxed into the affection. Eventually, his hands snaked around Peter's waist and he pulled Peter closer, inhaling his scent. "They'll understand more than you think. These are your friends, Wade."

            Wade nodded, pulling away. He looked into Peter's eyes for a few more seconds, gathering strength and courage. He hoped that some of Peter's would rub off on him.

            He walked into the throne room, clearing his throat. Most of the talking continued, because none of the chibis particularly expected repercussions. Wade wasn't the getting angry type. Wade stood up in front of the room until everyone had quieted down, like a particularly stupid sixth-grade teacher who doesn't realize the damn class is timed and she's only wasting her own damn teaching time. Like literally who does that help. You aren't intimidating, Miss Felton.

            Once almost everyone was paying attention, Wade began to speak.

            "Peter and I totally sexed. It was great."

            "We knew that already." Loki said, flatly. "You aren't subtle."

            "Then I'm sure you're also aware that your previous stature, as well as genetalia, are not currently returned to normal." He walked down from the podium and into the audience, patting Clint on the shoulder. "Not that it ever was normal, buddy."

            Clint nodded, sadly.

            "But that didn't break the curse. Peter here," Wade gestured towards him, and Peter waved sheepishly, "Has a new theory about the curse breaking."

            "And it is?" Nat asked, clearly less than interested in Wade's theatrics.

            "I..." Wade looked down, sighing. "I have to take the kingdom back."

            The chibis looked shocked. They looked... confused.

            "What's the problem, then?" Sam questioned. "You gave it to Weasel. You know he doesn't want to run a damn kingdom. You can have it back if you just ask."

            Wade glanced back at Peter. "I'm... Not ready to run the kingdom again."

            The chibis were shocked, angry, or still confused. Tony looked like he had rolled his eyes into the back of his very head.

            "Why the hell not?"

            "They're going to think I'm a monster." Wade argued.

            "So are we ever going to get our old bodies back?" Wanda demanded, raising her eyebrows in question. Her hands were red with angry magic.

            "Hey hey hey," Wade defended. "You guys know I wouldn't do that to you. Can everyone calm down for a second?"

            The chibis visibly relaxed, though reluctantly. Wade sighed.

            "Listen," He started, "I'm not ready to run a kingdom as a monster yet. And we're immortal now, we have all the time in the world. You will get your bodies back, I promise. I wouldn't let you suffer like that for longer than was absolutely necessary. I promise, as soon as I'm ready, I'll take the kingdom back. I just... I need a promise from you guys that you'll support me."

            This was met with a stretch of silence. Wade didn't look up from the floor. He was too scared to see the looks of betrayal on his friend's faces.

            Sam was the first to speak.

            "If it's for the good of the kingdom," He agreed, reluctantly. "Then I don't want you to push yourself because of us."

            Wade felt a rush of relief go through him. Other chibis started to voice slight variations of that opinion, but similar ones nonetheless. Wade felt like he could cry from relief.

            Because his friends were standing by him, Peter was standing by him, and he was going to learn to deal with this.

            He was going to take back his kingdom, one day.

            When the time was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue and the ending credits will be posted approximately a week from now


	12. EPILOGUE

     Wade looked like he had just swallowed a hive of bees and some of them were still inside of him, but he was at a formal dinner party and couldn't give away that he was in pain.  
     "Honey," Peter said, his eyebrows drawing together. "Do you want to stop for a little bit? Are you feeling okay?"  
     The carriage bumped over a pothole, and Wade's arms flew out like a soccer mom who just stopped from 50 mph in five seconds flat. Peter put a hand on Wade's leg, looking him in the eye as he squeezed.  
     "I'm fine." Wade lied. Peter forced himself to sit back, feeling nerves creep up.  
     "Maybe it was too early to do this." He argued. Wade shook his head back and forth passionately, looking up at Peter like he had just proposed going without sex for lent.  
     "It's been long enough." He argued, shaking his head. The stern look of resolution he had been wearing every time it was brought up for the last two weeks was back on his face, and Peter sighed. There was no talking Wade out of this now.  
     "Okay," Peter agreed, putting his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I just hope you know what you're doing. I don't want you to be upset."  
      Wade squared his shoulders. "What I'm doing is the right thing. Even if it does upset me."  
~~~  
     When they were there, they stepped out of the carriage and onto the softest, plushest purple carpet that Peter had ever seen in his life. Peter looked up to see the king's current castle stretching up into the air, ornate and polished. It was white, and the roses out front were white as well. Peter thought it was beautiful, but it also made him miss home. Their castle was much better.  
     Of course, they would only have to live here a few months before the capitol could all be moved again, and they would be in the clear.  
     There were no citizens around this part of the castle. They were all around front (or at least, those who decided to come). They were ushered inside by a pair of frazzled castle staff, one of them looking at Wade like he was the sun.  
     "Mr Wilson," He said, "It's so good to have you back. Weasel keeps getting cheetos dust all over the royal robe."  
     "Which is better than me not wearing it at all, I suppose?" Wade questioned, raising an eyebrow. The man shook his head feverishly.  
     "I was wrong. I was so wrong." He gushed.  
     "Thank you, Bob." Wade said. His eyes were heavy with bags, but they seemed a little bit brighter from the warm welcome. Bob nodded at Wade and fell back in step, but he looked very happy to have the old ruler back.  
     Peter could only hope that the rest of the kingdom was going to react so willingly.  
~~~  
     The Avengers were lined up in front of the building, standing guard on all sides. Natasha Tony stood on either side of Wade as they prepared to go out. Wade looked rigid as a board as he listened to the noisy murmuring of the crowd.  
     Generally speaking, the castle staff (even the newer ones) had had positive reactions to Wade's presence. Nobody had, as of yet, accused him of being a troll, or a witch. And that second one had happened even before he was mutilated by the witch's spell. (He'd gone through a heavy goth phase. Most of his wardrobe was black and red for a little while).  
     "You're gonna do great." Peter encouraged. Wade, for once, actually didn't look very encouraged by his words.  
     "I've been gone a hundred years, Peter." Wade argued, shaking his head. "How am I supposed to explain that? Do you think the people are really going to accept me back so easily?" Wade questioned. Peter sighed heavily.  
     "Wade," Peter argued, turning and grabbing his shoulders. Wade stilled. "I heard legends about what a good and fair king you were. The people will accept you back. They're all ready for a slice of what you have to serve, babe. Don't do this to yourself. You're going to make their lives better. Why wouldn't they want that?"  
     Wade visibly relaxed, but he still looked tense. Peter knew that it wasn't going to last very long, though. As soon as Wade was crowned again, and the people were at his side, he wouldn't feel this way.  
     "You're right." Wade confirmed. "I just need to stop overthinking it."  
     "If it helps, you're still my king no matter what." Peter teased. Wade rolled his eyes, but he did look satisfied with the answer.  
     The trumpets started playing, and panic came across Wade's face. That was his cue to go out. That was his cue to show his face to the people and hope that they didn't spit in it.  
     He didn't feel ready.  
     The trumpets kept playing, and Peter knew that people were getting confused at this point. He hoped that Wade wouldn't be angry at him for this, and he mustered his strength before pushing Wade forward, through the curtain and into the sunlight.  
     Wade stared down in complete shock. Peter hurried out behind him, determined not to let Wade face this alone. The crowds remained silent, surprised, for far longer than Peter thought possible.  
     Oh, God. They weren't going to accept him. This was it. This was the end of an-  
     But then, someone started to clap. A lone, single sound as they celebrated the return of their king. Soon, another joined in, and another.  
     Confusion broke along Wade's face. A smile broke out on Peter's.  
     The crowd, soon enough, was smiling and clapping and whooping louder than they had ever heard before. Wade grinned as he unfroze, wonder and excitement building within as he took the next few steps forward, his chest puffed up as he grabbed the crown and lifted it up, setting it gently upon his own head.  
     As soon as he placed it there, something started to happen. Natasha and Tony beside him were both lifted off the ground and covered in a glowing, yellow light. It swept around them, obscuring them from view.  
     When it left, both of them were standing on the ground. Back to their normal, taller bodies. Peter was almost dizzy with how fast the change had come, and how different they were now.  
     Tony immediately wiggled his hips, gasping. "Oh, God. My dick is back. I can feel it. Fuck yeah."  
     Wade, overcome with joy at having his kingdom back, turned to Peter and swooped him up. He spun around and around, and Peter's heart was in his throat as he was filled with radiant, yellow joy. This kind of magic was the kind that would stay with them forever. Peter wanted this more than anything else.  
     Wade was happy. He was really and truly happy, and the chibis were... Well, no longer chibis. And yeah, Wade was still scarred. He was still disfigured.  
     But the modern-day moral of the story, that love transcends looks, was kept much more in-tact this way. And Peter liked Wade's ridges. He loved all of Wade, the beautiful and the ugly.  
     And he would get to keep loving all of him, for as long as they reigned. Which, as far as he knew, might actually end up forever.  
     Wade put him down and turned back to the audience, grinning like an idiot. He cleared his throat, reassuming the posture of a king. He looked out over the crowd, and they slowly came to a quiet murmur. Wade projected his voice as loud as he could.  
     Peter was certain that Wade's first speech as king would be something heartfelt. Something that would reestablish his trust with the people. Something to give a wonderful start to his new nation.  
     "As the new and returning kings of this nation," Wade started, glancing back at Peter with humor in his eyes, "I'd like to thank you all for accepting us back. For the good, and despite the bad. Y'all ever read the constitution? Spoiler alert: Every founding father is about to be all up in here. Peace, bitches."  
     That sounded about right, yeah.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for how long this took.   
> Please excuse the weird formatting, I had to go back and manually type spaces in all the paragraph breaks because ao3 is a little bitch.


	13. Credits

CREDITS  
Making this fic possible….. My amazing friend, whom half the plot can be contributed to  
& My unending, unshakeable love for spideypool  
Angst Director….. The feeling of unnerving dread from which all else comes  
Fluff Director….. The unwavering belief that said unnerving dread is not real  
Reading this Fic….. Losers. There. I said it. But you’re MY losers.  
& My friends, whom I force to read my writing  
Reading All of the Credits….. Someone who should be doing their homework, definitely  
Official Soundtrack….. The exact soundtrack to Shrek 2, but backwards

 

 

 

     At first, it started out as little things. Peter would notice a distinct shift in the air in the middle of the night and bolt upright, sweating and panting. He would feel too alone and the darkness in the room would make his hair stand on end. He would shake Wade gently with increasingly panicked calls of Wade’s name, and Wade would wake up to grumpily walk over and light the torch, revealing a completely empty room to Peter.  
     Then, it moved to the bigger things. A large amount of meat was going missing in the castle, with no explanation. Wade thought that it might be a Robin Hood situation- one of the staff members taking food to the poor and starving- so he didn’t investigate it.  
     But Peter also noticed a distinct absence of flies, and he knew that something was up. All of the bugs don’t just up and disappear like that.  
“Wade,” Peter argued, annoyance clear in his tone. “We need to investigate. There’s something more to what’s going on here.”  
     Wade looked at Peter. There were small grey bags under his eyes, (one of the disadvantages to running a kingdom) and Peter could tell that he didn’t believe him, but that Wade was determined to make Peter feel better either way. It filled Peter with annoyance and made his heart glow at the same time.  
     “Alright. How about we sleep with the lights on tonight?” Wade suggested, softly. “You said you feel like something comes through here every night, right? So we’ll light this bitch up like it’s Adam Lavine’s Halloweed- I mean, Halloween party.”  
     “…With glow sticks?” Peter asked, confused. Wade simply sighed at him and shook his head. He got up from the bed and walked over to the torch on their wall, fumbling in the dark with the lighting mechanism that Stark had created. He lit the torch, and turned to Peter, holding it up.  
     “See?” He asked, gesturing. “Nothing’s wrong!”  
     Peter started. And then he let out what was probably the girliest shriek ever known to man.  
     “FUCK, WADE! RUN!” He shouted, kicking his blankets off.  
     Because behind Wade, was the baby of the spider that had tried to kill him.  
     It had so, so many hungry eyes, and long spindly legs. Apparently they hadn’t taken away its chance at survival when they killed its mother; just its family. It had grown significantly. It wasn’t nearly full-grown, but it was definitely bigger. It took up about a fourth of the wall.  
     Peter grabbed the sword off of the bedside table as Wade turned around, saw the spider, and promptly dropped the torch.  
     They were eclipsed into darkness.  
     Peter huffed, his senses on high alert as his anxiety for Wade spiked. He could hear footsteps running down the hall, and he knew that the avengers were on their way. But he also knew that the spider was fast enough to kill him and Wade both before they got there.  
     Speaking of which; Peter had been feeling its presence for weeks. Why wasn’t he dead? Why hadn’t the thing just eaten them while they slept?  
     The light flickered on again; Wade was holding the torch, looking down in confusion. Peter scanned the room, looking anywhere and everywhere to try and find it. He looked back towards Wade, who still had his eyes trained on the floor.  
     Peter followed them.  
     The spider was sat, perfectly still, blinking up at Wade. It wasn’t trying to kill him, or hurt him. Its little beady eyes just. Stared.  
     “Um. What’s going on?” Peter asked, confused.  
     “I don’t think it wants to kill us.” Wade proposed.  
     Then, he bent down. Peter felt panic spike up in him as the spider recoiled, backing up, flinching. But Wade continued to reach, slow and steady.  
     “What are you DOING, you idiot?” Peter demanded.  
     Wade was… petting the spider.  
     And suddenly, Peter understood.  
     The doors swung open, and the Avengers bursted into the room. Each of them had a weapon clutched in their hand, and Peter felt fear strike through him for a different reason. The spider recoiled, startled by the noise, and turned to them. Seeing their weapons, it took a few steps, placing itself between them and Wade. Its mandibles twitched, and it showed off its venom-coated fangs.  
     “WAIT, GUYS!” Peter shouted. They all froze, but still seemed cautious.  
     “What’s going on here, Peter?” Tony asked, finally. Peter took a moment to get his thoughts together, knowing that caution was the key word here.  
     “I… think he’s just looking for a family.” He proposes. “Wade and I probably seem like spiders to him. I shoot webs, and I based my current formula off of his mom’s. He probably smelled that and came to us.”

Wade blinked. "Sounds like someone just looked up whether or not spiders have a sense of smell." He coughed. "Lazy writing."  
     Peter turned towards him, feeling a little pang of guilt. Then, despite the fear pumping through his veins, he took a step towards the thing, and let the sword drop from his hand.  
     He looked over towards the rest of the Avengers. “Put down the weapons. You’re making him anxious.”  
     They lowered their weapons, one by one. Peter dropped to his knees, holding out a hand and calling to the spider. God, this was one way to get over a fear of spiders. After a moment, it started walking towards him, and he shut his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to see it if his hand was about to get bitten off.  
     When he opened his eyes, his hand was in the middle of a course ball of spider fluff, and the thing was purring. Peter continued to pet him, the fear eventually beginning to fade.  
     “What are we gonna do about this?” Natasha asked, staring incredulously at the spider.  
     “Can we please keep him?” Wade asked. Peter sighed.  
     “Only until we find him a new home.” Peter said. Wade grinned, widely. He knew that that was bullshit. Peter wasn’t going to take in an animal and then give it away to someone else. They were gonna be fattening this thing up and keeping him as a pet.  
     “I like Gertrude for a name.” Wade said.  
  



	14. Credits 2

     Peter walked down to the dungeon, his nose in the air. God, what smelled like a skunk?  
     Wade was with a prisoner, and Peter needed to let him know that he was going to handle his patrol around the city tonight. It was important that this interrogation went smoothly, since the crime that he was accused of had a pretty stiff punishment. Peter didn’t want this man to be falsely imprisoned, or a criminal to get away.  
     As he got closer and closer, the smell got more and more distinctive. Peter got to the door, and panic rose within him as he saw smoke wafting out from underneath. Fuck, Wade!  
     “Wade?” He asked, voice rising as he ran into the door, forcing it open so hard that it hit the other side of the wall.  
     Peter got a face full of smoke, and he coughed as he looked around the room. Fuck, what if Wade was-  
     Then, Peter saw Wade. Sitting in the corner with the accused criminal.  
     Passing back and forth a massive blunt.  
     They looked at each other for a long time. A grin was stretched across Wade’s face, even wider than it typically was. After the silence stretched on to uncomfortable levels, Wade started to laugh. Peter felt the tension drain out of him.  
     “Sorry, Peter,” Wade apologized. “But this guy is definitely innocent. And has some pretty good weed.”  
     “You actually hotboxed the dungeon.” Peter said. He didn’t know what he expected, but this definitely wasn’t it. He also didn’t know how he didn’t recognize the smell of weed when he was walking towards the dungeon. God, it had been way too long since he’d smoked.  
     “Guilty as charged.” Wade joked, wiggling his eyebrows. The criminal beside him laughed, before he cut off with a sharp cough, which made Wade laugh too. Peter was starting to feel a little light-headed, but in a good way.  
     Maybe… maybe someone else could take care of the patrolling, just for today.  
     “Alright.” Peter said, giving in. “I was going to continue Gertrude’s training,” (because they were training Gertrude, who they had discovered was a girl, to fight with them by taking her out on patrols and missions) “but pass me that.”  
     Peter walked over and plopped down next to Wade, leaning forward and looking the accused straight in the eyes.  
     “You better not have killed that man.” He said.  
     “Oh, he did.” Wade confirmed. “He most definitely did. But it was for a good reason, and we’re gonna let him go.”  
     Peter rolled his eyes and took a hit off the blunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, officially finished!!! I'm so glad I actually did this.  
> Please comment with what your favorite part of this fic was!


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